The problem of lust (a dad-son dialogue) – III

09/07/2007| IslamWeb

Son: Dad, were there more things that help increase one’s faith?

Dad: One has to remember that he will stand before Allah on the Day of Reckoning when all secrets are disclosed. Nothing will be hidden from Him, and the mouths of the disbelievers will be sealed and their limbs will testify against them. Allah Aays (what means): “Until, when they reach it, their hearing and their eyes and their skins will testify against them of what they used to do.” [Quran 41: 20]

Now, let me ask you if it is possible for a person to do wrong without his limbs being present with him? Allah answers this question in the Noble Quran (what means): “And you were not covering yourselves, lest your hearing testify against you or your sight or your skins, but you assumed that Allah does not know much of what you do.” [Quran 41: 22]

Son: Is there any thing else?

Dad: Yes, son, a believer has to remember what Allah has in store on the Day of Resurrection for those who obey His commandments and keep away from what He has forbidden.

Son: You mean the maidens of Paradise?

Dad: Exactly! These are the chaste women of Paradise whom Allah describes in the Noble Quran (what means): “Indeed, We have produced the women of Paradise in a [new] creation, and made them virgins, devoted [to their husbands] and of equal age, for the companions of the right [who are]." [Quran 56: 35-38]    

The Prophet is reported to have described them saying: “The first group (of people) who will enter Paradise will be (glittering) like a full-moon. They will neither spit therein nor blow their noses nor relieve nature. Their utensils therein will be of gold and their combs of gold and silver; in their censers the aloes wood will be used, and their sweat will smell like musk. Everyone of them will have two wives; the marrow of the bones of the wives’ legs will be seen through the flesh out of excessive beauty. They (i.e. the people of Paradise) will neither have differences nor hatred amongst themselves; their hearts will be as if one heart, and they will be glorifying Allah in the morning and in the afternoon.” [Al-Bukhari]

Son: What else, dad?

Dad: You have to turn to Allah, following the example of the Prophet Yoosuf (Joseph), may Allah exalt his mention, when the woman whom he worked for tried to seduce him. The Noble Quran gives an account of him, saying: “He said, "My Lord, prison is more to my liking than that to which they invite me. And if You do not avert from me their plan, I might incline toward them and [thus] be of the ignorant’." [Quran 12: 33]

My son! Turn to your Lord, raise your hands with humbleness to Allah in supplication, and realize that Allah will not turn away those who ask Him.

Besides, you have to strengthen your will. You have to train yourself to bridle uncontrollable desires; you must never surrender to them. But you have to know that this requires a tremendous amount of training, because you are struggling against your vicious instincts, which are amplified and supported by the accursed Satan.

Son: Is that all?

Dad: No, son, there remains an important issue that was always highlighted by the Prophet .

Son: You mean marriage, don’t you?

Dad: Of course, son, may Allah grant you success in your life. Marriage enables one to enjoy what Allah has made lawful for him. This will surely prevent him from indulging in forbidden pleasures. If a person of your age cannot afford to get married, he has to observe fast on those days which were favoured by the Prophet such as Mondays and Thursdays, or whatever is most convenient. Fasting, as you know, infuses piety in the heart. Allah Says (what means): “O you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous.” [Quran 2: 183]

Moreover, fasting strengthens the will and determination, and qualifies you to defeat your vicious instincts.

Son: Dad, what about masturbation?

Dad: O my son, it is a filthy and blameworthy habit. Moreover, it is forbidden according to the Noble Quran and the authentic Sunnah. Allah Says (what means): “And those who guard their private parts. Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they are not to be blamed.” [Quran 70: 29-30]

These two verses indicate that true believers should guard their private parts from illegal sexual activity. There are two permissible outlets for satisfying sexual desire. These are one’s wife and one’s slave. Therefore, no way besides these two is permissible.

Also, practicing this blameworthy habit adversely affects the health and leads to health problems. Moreover, masturbation is a main cause of psychological disturbances, like depression and anxiety. Ejaculation of sperms due to masturbation is usually followed by fits of remorse, which develops later into a sense of indifference. What is worse is that one may practice this habit in a place where he cannot remove his ritual impurity by taking a shower, causing him to either miss the prayers in their appointed time, or perform them in a state of ritual impurity; and in either case, he will be sinful.

Son: So dad, how can one quit this filthy habit?

Dad: In order to quit this habit, one has to practise a few things. First, one should strengthen his belief in Allah. Second, one should lower his gaze and avoid thinking about lust. Third, one should avoid being alone. Fourth, one should keep himself busy with beneficial activities such as reading, useful sports and the like.  

Excerpted with modification from: O My Child! You've Become an Adult, by: Mohammad Addawish