Her parents refuse to marry her off to a man of a different nationality
5-12-2007 | IslamWeb
Question:
At the age of 16, I was presented islam from a different angle, and this made me want to convert. But within some time, I met a young man who somehow made me see the beauty in islam. He wasnt all religious but he had his tawheed part perfect. He proposed and i prayed istikarah and accepted. Our relationship wasnt completely halal. My parents found out and they disapproved. I am 19 years now. And the young man and i have corrected ourselves and repented. And we are still wanting to marry each other but my parents are seeing a different man for me. Ive tried to make them understand. But they have so many reasons i am unable to understand. they think i was too young to choose then and theyre trying to punish me for that act now. and they are bothered about what they will have to say to their relatives. And the man is a sri lankan and i am an indian. And his education does not meet their standards. And thought his salary is sufficient, its not sufficient to purchase luxury. And theyve decided never to agree. i agree that our relationship was wrong, but can it still be a reason for them to disagree? can any of the above reasons be sufficient for them to disagree? the young man and i have decided to marry only acc to islam. theres no one else id like to marry and i dont want to commit fornication. also, is it allowed in islam to remained unmarried during our entire life, if my parents dont agree? can my parents pursue sending my photos to other richer, much educated men even when they know i am not interested in any of them? pls reply soon. i am sorry that you had to read this much. thanks alot.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we congratulate you for repenting and we advise you to hold fast to the means of staying steadfast on the right path, like seeking religious knowledge, performing acts of good deeds and befriending righteous and pious women.
You should know that it is not permissible for a woman to establish an affectionate relationship with a man who is not a Mahram (i.e. a husband or a person whom one is permanently prohibited from marrying due to suckling, marital, or blood relations) to her. However, the best solution for the people who love each other is marriage.
Your parents should not refuse marrying you off to a religious man who has a good moral conduct because he had previously had an affectionate relationship with you if he sincerely repented from it, or due to him belonging to another country and the like. Therefore, we advise you to try to convince your parents to marry you off to this young man. First, you should seek the help of Allaah in this regard, and then the help of the people whom you think can influence your parents. If they are convinced, all perfect praise be to Allaah, but if they insist on refusing, you are obliged to obey them. The parents are generally affectionate and tender to their daughter and seek what is more beneficial to her.
If marriage is not possible, then you must cut the relationship with this man completely.
Your parents should not oblige you to marry someone whom you do not want to marry, or to marry you off to an unsuitable man. Besides, a person should not refuse to marry at all without having a sound reason, as this is contrary to the guidance of the Prophet . Rather, a person who fears to commit Zina (fornication or adultery) is obliged to marry.