His parents object to his wish to marry his religious cousin
31-3-2008 | IslamWeb
Question:
assalamoalailkum, respected teacher,i m in a gr8 trouble in my opinion,my age is 23 and i have desire to marry as soon as possible.i like my cousin who is hafiza and she is a 1yr elder than me....allhamdulilah i belong to a good family who pray 5 times aday... i requested my parent that i need to marry her as i like her,so that i can be well treated mentally and soulfully in future.And i think my future would be in better hands by the grace of allah if i marry her.....BUT my parents are denying it.they are saying that theywill not let u marry her,as she is 1 yr elder than me,and she wont be good to me........ i told them if u wont marry me ,i may be lead to bad habits and i may do HARAM ACTS,since the community in which we are living is totally at wrong doings....... My parents said dowhat ever u like to do ,but we wont let u marry her.....Im behind them since 2 yrs ,that i need to marry soon as possible,Allhamduliliah my financial status is good and i think i can support my wife in future as well as my parents too. they tell me 1st you should make your home,let ur sisters get married 1st.more over they are worried if i get married soon ,i wont give them money,........... respected sr,im in a gr8 trouble ,can you let me know wihich is the best way to follow,if i dont follow my parents saying they will get angry and upset and on other hand imay spoil my life...... i do like my cousin very muuch ,its b/c she has much knowledge in quran...... i will hoping the right answer from you..........allah haifz
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
The scholars 
stated that it is an obligation on a son to obey his parents if they order him not to marry a specific woman as a way of giving priority to their desire and will over his own will, provided the parents have a sound religious reason for refusing, or a reason that is usually accepted according to custom.
If this girl is religious and has good moral conduct, then you should try to convince them to accept your marriage to her, however, if they insist on refusing, then in principle you should obey them as we clarified.
However, if you fear committing prohibitions with her or with other women, then it is permissible for you to marry her even if your parents disagree.
Nonetheless, we advise you to stop thinking about her and look for other women as there are many pious women out there. Usually, the view of the parents is more correct in such situations. The marriage that is preceded by such matters does not usually lead to a stable marital life.
You should continue to be kind and dutiful to your parents and be keen on pleasing them in any case.
It should be mentioned that the difference of age or the fact that your sisters are not married are not at all impediments to marriage.
Moreover, you should not have told your parents that you plan to commit what Allaah has forbidden. If you feel you must tell them, then you may say instead something like, ‘I want to protect myself from prohibitions’ and other similar expressions.
Finally, it should be noted that you are not permitted to commit what Allaah has forbidden, and your parents refusing your marriage to this woman is not an excuse with Allaah.
For more benefit on the ruling of marrying without the consent of parents, please refer to Fatwas 92340, 89650 and 83379.
Allaah Knows best.