A dictatorial husband
4-12-2008 | IslamWeb
Question:
if a husband refuse to have any physical relationship with his wife unless his wife 's parents bend down before the parents of her husband against any reason,what the wife should do towards her husband break up as well as in this matter for her parents,as for letting them accept husband 'demand? plz answer me in the light of islam.I am very depress.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
A husband is religiously ordered to treat his wife kindly among which is to have sexual intercourse with her; this is her right upon him. Therefore, he is not permitted to prevent her from this right without a sound reason.
Moreover, it is very rude for such a husband to ask her wife’s parents to bend down in front of his parents and they are not obliged to do so even if this is religiously permissible, let alone when this is religiously forbidden as we clarified in Fataawa 84465 and 88171.
Therefore, this husband should be advised in a gentle and soft manner and he should be reminded to fear Allaah and fear His Punishment and not neglect the right of his wife in regard to having sexual intercourse with her, and that he is obliged to treat his in-laws with kindness.
Hence, it is desirable for influential people, like a friend, a relative or a righteous person to advise him.
If the husband insists on not having sexual intercourse and you fear harm in staying with him, then it is permissible for you to ask your husband to divorce you, or to take the matter to an Islamic centre which takes care of personal matters of Muslims in your country if there are no Islamic courts there. However, if you consider being patient with him and staying with him is better, then you may do so. In which case, you should endeavour to keep yourself chaste by fearing Allaah and staying away from any sexual incitement, like looking (at non-Mahram men) and the like. Also, you may fast if you can until Allaah facilitates the matter for you.
Allaah Knows best.