His wife severely criticizes the scholars who do not adopt her methodology
21-3-2010 | IslamWeb
Question:
AA
I got married about 3 months before. But after few days of marriage conflict started.
She belongs to a group named as Salafi (I don't think they are real salafis as they consider anyone who slightly differ from them as deviant or innovator). The problem is that she is very much interested in refutations and abandonment of people on account of their difference in some religious matters and personalities and she blindly follow few scholars like Rabee Madkalee, Ubaid Jabree etc.
After marriage she started sending me emails regarding qutub, modudi and al banna etc that they are innovators she gave me list of websites and a list of scholars to only stick to them. On qutub to whom i thinks she hates more than a disbeliever once I said ok I admit he has mistakes but there are scholars from Alhu Sunnah who defend qutub and banna so it is not necessary that everyone keep same opinion about them as you think. After that she started refuting me that you are trying to defend innovators you too are behaving like a qutubi and hizbee etc. She said our scholars specially she named Rabee Madkhali is from kibaar and he refuted qutub and banna with proof.
I want to avoid such debates in our home but she insist on such topics and want that i should blindly follow the scholars and websites she as she do when i try to convince her she labeled me as Hizbee and qutubi. Now after my last argumentation on such issues i said i don't want to indulge in such issues but no avail. Now she don't want to live with me and hate me because she thinks my aqidah and manhaj is corrupt. When i try to keep silence on such issues she don't accept it either and want from to eat the flush on these dead people with her.
Her mother requested me to accept her opinion and show as you too thinks that she is right and said she is too young and will settle down with the time, she is 21. Is it correct that if I hide my real feelings towards my Muslim brother to save marriage if not than what should i do?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If what you mentioned about your wife is true, then the methodology that she is following is very serious because it is not permissible for a Muslim male or female to consider himself/herself as a judge saying that so and so is an innovator, or that so and so is a dissolute person, especially if that person is among those who make efforts to serve Islam. On the contrary, it is an obligation to respect these people and honor them and thank them for their efforts in Da’wah (calling people to Allaah) and for being sincere and dedicated to their nation. Even if they commit a mistake when making Ijtihaad (over matters on which no verse or Hadeeth apply), they will be rewarded for doing so as they are humans and they are not infallible. Rather, their mistake should be dealt with according to the Islamic etiquette without exaggeration or negligence. Indeed, a person who adopts the methodology of those people [whom your wife is following], even the prominent scholars of this nation would not be safe from them [their criticisms]; as Allaah only made the Prophets to be infallible.
Therefore, we advise you to be patient with your wife and to be wise in dealing with her. Indeed, you may mention to her some statements of some contemporary Salafi scholars who are well known for their knowledge, piety and justice (like Shaykh Ibn Baaz and Shaykh Ibn ‘Utheymeen 
about Sayyid Qutb and other scholars who are severely criticized by those people whom your wife follows.
Moreover, the people whom she follows have also been warned (by the scholars) against the wrong methodology that they adopt. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 87643.
Finally, it is not permissible for your wife to raise her voice over you or to insist on discussing such matters with you. Rather, this is considered as disobedience on her part. For more benefit on the steps to follow in dealing with a disobedient wife, please refer to Fatwa 85402.
Allaah Knows best.