His wife took a promise from him not to contact a woman he wants to marry
7-4-2010 | IslamWeb
Question:
As-Salam-o-Alaikum, Respected Sir, I would like to discuss with your kindself a personal matter and i am seeking your relegious advise. I am 35 years old and a married person having offspring. About four years back I fallen in love of a noble unmarried lady who wants to get married with me. That was hidden from my wife and since my wife knew it she put Quran on my head and get promised from me that I will not contact that lady in future. That lady (to whom I love) is not aware for my such promise and just known that I am married. Even she didn't know that I have offspring. I know that I cant get married with her due to my wife cause she didn't allow me. I have the following queries which may please be honored with your kind response. 1) How can I get unbound from such Quranic promise in order to contact her? 2) Am I bound to get my wife approval for getting married with her? 3) Is it true for me to keep maintain relationship with her or get married with her after Quranic Promise? Kindly advise in the light of Islam. Your early response will be highly appreicated. May Almighty bless you. Regards Raheel Ahmed
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, you should know that it is not permissible for a Muslim man to have an affectionate relationship with a non-Mahram woman outside marriage; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 81356.
Therefore, it is not permissible for you to continue this forbidden relationship with that woman whether or not your wife took a promise from you [not to contact her].
Concerning what you mentioned in regard to your wife putting the Mushaf (the Arabic text of the Quran) on your head and taking a promise from you, then if what you meant is that you made an oath to Allaah on what she wanted, like telling her : “I vow to Allaah not to do….” or “I make a vow to Allaah not to do….” then this is an oath and if you break this oath you should expiate for it; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 102811.
On the other hand, if you only meant that you promised your wife not to do so, then it is desirable to fulfill this promise but you are not obliged to do so according to the view of the majority of the scholars 
. Therefore, you are not obliged to fulfill the promise that you made to your wife in regard to not marrying that woman. Putting the Mushaf on your head or the presence of the Mushaf does not affect this ruling.
Hence, it is permissible for you to marry whomever you want [this woman or any other woman] if you are able to be just between your wives in regard to marriage and its attendant rights. However, you are not obliged to seek the permission of your first wife and you are not obliged to inform her about it as we explained in Fataawa 85948 and 84411. But if you feel weak and you predominantly think that this marriage will lead to the break up of your family and to problems that you could not bear, then in this case, it might be better if you refrain from marrying this woman and you should avoid any means that may lead you to commit with her what Allaah has forbidden, so it is not permissible for you to talk to her or be in seclusion with her and the like. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 95416.
Allaah Knows best.