She wants to rectify her husband’s faults without insulting him

1-8-2010 | IslamWeb

Question:

Asalaam Alaikum WRWB, If a wife strongly suspects her husband is lying about doing some things haram in secret (hiding smoking, chatting with other women online,and phone)... HOW can she ask him about this or try to encourage him to stop this without insulting him? She loves him and doesn't want to break the marriage apart but she needs the truth so their lives/family can continue in health and halal way. JazakAllah
Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If it is not confirmed to you (with evidence) that your husband did these matters, then it is not permissible for you to follow his faults and spy on him as this is forbidden. Allaah Says (what means): {O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin.}[Quran 49:12] Also, it is confirmed that the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Moreover, it is reported that Zayd Ibn Wahb may Allaah have mercy upon him said to ‘Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood may Allaah be pleased with him: “This is so and so, and wine is dropping from his beard.”; thereupon, ‘Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood, said: “We have been prohibited to seek out faults. If anything becomes manifest to us, we shall seize it.” An-Nawawi may Allaah have mercy upon him said in Riyaadh-us-Saaliheen: “It was reported by Abu Daawood with a chain of narrators according to the condition of Imaams Al-Bukhari and Muslim.”

Therefore, it is not permissible for you to follow your husband’s faults, and you will stay safe (from evil) as long as you do not find any evil act done by him, so you should not worry or live in tension trying to follow his faults and know his secrets.

Of course, if a Muslim commits a sin, he most predominantly did so because of his weak faith. Hence, we advise you to arrange a program with your husband in a way that you may listen together to some sermons and Islamic lectures and the like by which you may purify your souls. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 89109.

Allaah Knows best.

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