His wife took Khul’ from an Imaam without his presence
18-1-2011 | IslamWeb
Question:
Wife left the home:My wife and I performed Nikkah few years ago. However, we never satisfied the civil requirements to have our marriage recognized by civil laws. While she was 7 months pregnant, our relationship shifted from a loving one to name calling when my parents were visiting the US. I understand the different generations; I told she didn’t have to like my Mom, but at least respect her while visiting. My wife did show respect to my Mom, but when we were alone, Mom was called with every name that you hear on the street. Once my parents left the country, I was served with divorce papers with no Islamic reasons what so ever. After thousands of dollars in atty fees, the Judge found no legal marriage. Even after the decree was published, I asked my wife that we have learned a lesson and we should fear Allah and reunite for the sake of our religion and the two beautiful kids. Unfortunately, she still leaves outside the home that I provide. She attempted to seek Khul from our local Imam without my presence. I understand the Khul certificate was issued, but once I contacted the Imam , he scheduled a meeting with about 10 devoted brothers. After hearing the full story, he found out that he was misled; Imam and the group apologized and voided the Khul. I like to save my family as I need to answer to my kids one day and to Allah. My wife is not bad, she is smart, she is a God fearing lady and I don’t suspect anything bad going on, but she lives in her own world, extremely independent, very opinionated, but the problem from time time she sherry picks between the men made laws and Sharia. She goes with the option that benefits her most (filing for divorce instead of seeking help from our elders and Imams). What can I do? I know that we are still married, but she doesn’t want to listen to me, to her family or anyone else. What does Sunna and Allah say about my wife? What do I do? Also, note that I pay maintenance for my family all along. What I can do save my marriage?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If your marriage contract had fulfilled the conditions of a valid marriage, like proposal and acceptance, the presence of the guardian or his deputy, and the presence of two witnesses, then it is a valid marriage and the ruling of the non-Islamic court is of no effect if it is contrary to that.
According to the most preponderant opinion of the scholars, that it is not permissible for a Muslim Judge to issue Khul' without the consent of the husband, but some other scholars are of the view that this is permissible.
However, if the Imaam of the mosque is authorized to act as the Muslim judge in your community and he had issued Khul’, then he is permitted to invalidate the ruling that he had issued if it has become clear to him that he was wrong.
The Fiqh Encyclopedia reads: “In principle, if the judge issues a ruling, then he is not permitted to invalidate it nor are others permitted to do so, unless it contradicts a religious text or a consensus of the scholars. However, some jurists 
stated – as we have already discussed – that if it appears to him that he was mistaken in his ruling, or that he forgot, or that he ruled contrarily to his view forgetfully, but in accordance with what some jurists ruled, and there is no evidence in this regard, then he may invalidate it himself exclusively, and this is the view of the majority of the scholars, …..the rule is that every ruling whose mistake is not known except by the one who issued it, like if he contradicted his previous opinion, then others cannot invalidate it, unless there is evidence in this regard, in which case, he would either invalidate it himself or others would invalidate it.”
Besides, if that Imaam is not qualified to give rulings in principle, then his rulings are not effective and they can be invalidated according to the view of many jurists .
Therefore, your wife is still your wife – as you mentioned in the question – and if the situation is as you mentioned about her, and you lost hope in rectifying her and her misconduct, then we advise you to separate from her and Allaah may compensate you with another wife better than her.
Indeed, you should learn a lesson from this experience, and you should be keen in the future to marry a woman who is religious and has a good moral conduct.
Allaah Knows best.