Disobedience does not eliminate guardianship
1-5-2011 | IslamWeb
Question:
My father is a domineering dictator at home. The greater problem is that he is philanderer who spends a great deal of money on women. Moreover, he immodestly gives his phone number to women to call him. He does not take into consideration our dignity or the dignity of our mother who surrenders to him in order to guarantee her and her children’s livelihood.
Nevertheless, we grew up as excellent students in this impure atmosphere that we have suffered. Now, he is threatening my mother that if she does not drive my elder brother out of the house, he would leave the home. He threatened me and my sister that if we do not give him all our salaries in order to be spent for women and animal desires, he would disown us. However, our answer was just silence.
Is it permissible to marry without the attendance of my father? Have I to tell the man whom I am going to marry about my father’s reality?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
It is impermissible for you to marry without the attendance of a guardian. Abu Burdah 
said that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “No marriage [is valid] without [the attendance of the woman’s] guardian.” [At-Tirmithi and Abu Daawood]
According to the preponderant opinion, scholars of Fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) stated six conditions to be fulfilled in the woman’s guardian:
1- Sanity
2- Adulthood
3- Freedom
4- Manhood
5- Sameness of religion: There should be no guardianship for a disbeliever over a Muslim woman or for a Muslim man over a disbelieving woman. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {The believing men and believing women are allies of one another.} [Quran 9:71]
6- Competency
Committing disobedience does not result in canceling guardianship. You should follow different means to advise your father through recorded materials, books or asking some righteous people to speak to him. We supplicate Allaah The Almighty to grant you patience. You should frequently supplicate Allaah The Almighty to guide him.
We bring to your attention that the immorality of the father and his lack of religiosity do not justify undutifulness to him. However, the right of the father is established even in case of his being a disbeliever. You should not tell the one who is going to marry you about the reality of your father. It is you who matters to him. Moreover, it is obligatory to cover the faults of Muslims even if he is not a relative, so, what should be the case with regard to a father?
Allaah Knows best.