Her husband separated himself from her to please his parents

4-6-2012 | IslamWeb

Question:

I was married one and a half year ago while still studying. My father in law said to my husband that I had affair with my teacher and that’s why I am not living with them and also that this is the reason why my teacher was harassing me. I already told them about the problems I was facing before marriage than why they married me, why they did not said that I had affair with my teacher, if they have said that I would have never married him. My husband never spent a rupee on me and he even did not gave his address to me or my family . When I called him several times he said today I will give you divorce. I want to know should this saying be considered as divorce or not, in the same telephonic conversation I asked him what he really wants, he said I don’t want to live with you I said ok than send the papers and I will sign them BECAUSE I know that no one can live with anyone without his will. But he said that you do what you want and I will do what I wish. After that we did not talked, but on my brothers marriage he was asked to attend the marriage, he said ok, but didn’t come. Once he also said that he didn’t married me, he just signed the marriage certificate because his father asked him to do so. So, I asked him if you have not married me than who gave you the right to touch me. He says his father is god and whatever he will ask him he will do that. I would like to ask you that has islam said that to leave your (divorce) wife in difficulties in order to get praise of your parents, and a husband has no responsibility towards his wife. Will my husband be forgiven by Allah for what he did to me, will he be justified in divorcing me. What should I do from Islamic point of view. I want is there any punishment for such people who put wrong allegations against their daughter in law and divorce them to prove themselves right in society. Are girls toys in mans hand. Should I accept those dirty allegations or fight for my right. Is this not the mockery of islam.

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Firstly, defaming the chastity of a Muslim woman is a serious matter and doing so without evidence is an irresponsible act which a Muslim is not permitted to resort to; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 87225.

Therefore, if your in-laws accuse you of something you are innocent of, then they are sinful. Allaah Says (what means): {And those who harm believing men and believing women for [something] other than what they have earned [i.e. deserved] have certainly born upon themselves a slander and manifest sin.} [Quran 33:58] Thus, you should remind them of the seriousness of this and the obligation to repent from it. Besides, if a person is accused of something, he has the right to defend himself and prove his innocence.

Secondly, the husband is obliged to spend on his wife and he is not permitted to be negligent about this as we clarified in Fatwa 85012. If the wife spends on herself from her own money, she has the right to ask her husband to reimburse her for it even if this had happened so long ago.

Thirdly, the statement of the husband to his wife: “I will divorce you today” is not considered as a divorce, but it is only a promise of divorce. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 92383. Also, his statement to her “I do not want to live with you” is one of the metaphors of divorce by which divorce does not take place unless the husband had intended it.

Fourthly, the son is not obliged to obey his parents in divorcing his wife if they do not have a sound reason for that. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84056. However, if he obeys them and divorces his wife, the divorce takes place in any case. Nonetheless, divorce is not desirable if there is no sound reason for it. Indeed, some jurists  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them are of the view that this is even forbidden due to the disadvantages that it leads to. For more details, please refer to Fatwa 87786.

Hence, if reconciliation is possible and the wife can return to her husband, then this is good, otherwise she should forget him and ask Allaah to bless her with a better husband. Allaah Says (what means): {But if they separate [by divorce], Allaah will enrich each [of them] from His abundance. And ever is Allaah Encompassing and Wise.} [Quran 4:130]

Fifthly: If the marriage contract is concluded while fulfilling its Islamic conditions, then it is a valid marriage contract and its effects take place whether or not the person conducting the marriage contract intended it, as the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “There are three things which if they are done seriously they are valid and if they are done in jest they are also valid: marriage, divorce and taking back a wife (to marital bond after divorce).” [Abu Daawood, At-Tirmithi, An-Nasaa’i and Ibn Maajah]

Sixthly, the husband is Islamically required to treat his wife in a kind manner and to fulfill her rights in the same manner that she is obliged to fulfill his rights; Allaah Says (what means): {And due to them [i.e. the wives] is similar to what is expected to them, according to what is reasonable.} [Quran 2:228]; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 88304.

Seventhly, the statement of the husband about his father that he is god for him is a very serious statement. If he really means it, then this is disbelief in itself; however, if he only means exaggeration in him being keen on implementing his orders, then this is not considered disbelief, but it is an outrageous and abominable statement which he must avoid in the future.

Allaah Knows best.

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