She does not want to live with her troublesome in-laws
29-1-2013 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am married for last 4 yrs but i am not happy with my in-laws.my husband has lied about his family background to me before marriage.My mother in law was working in a bar before my marriage and her that profession is distrubing my present life.I also have a step father in law & brother in law because of them also my relationship with my husband is disturbed.I have 1 daughter of 3 years and presently i am at my maiden house from last 1 year.I tried convincing my husband to rent a separate house for me and my daughter, i futher told him that he can stay with his mother and visit us once in a week but he didnt agreed so i filed a case of maintenance for myself and my daughter.my husband has not visited us even once in my maiden house from last one year...he didnt even called to check about our daughter.I just want to know what should i do?i want to continue my marriage but don't want to live with my in laws as they treated me very cheaply in the past and i feel very insecure in their presence..I also tried to speak to other members of my in laws such as uncles and my neigbours but they also refused to help me as they themselves are afraid of my mother in laws.please send me answer to my question according to Islam as soon as possible.....My husband is saying that he wants to do a second marriage and leave us
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
There are rights for the wife upon her husband, amongst them is having a separate accommodation as we have explained in Fatwa 84608. It is incumbent upon the husband to provide her with it even through renting it. It is not obligatory on her to live with his family. Living with them mostly causes problems, the thing that can affect the relationship between the wife and her husband.
Amongst the other rights of the wife is spending on her. It is obligatory upon the husband to spend on his wife and children, and it is not permissible for him to neglect that. If he does not do that, then it is permissible for the wife to take it from his property, even without his knowledge. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 85012 and 88872.
It is worth mentioning here that if the wife is recalcitrant, she has foregone her right to financial maintenance and accommodation until she obeys her husband. Amongst the forms of her recalcitrance is that she goes out from his house without his permission.
On the other hand, it is not permissible for the husband to desert his wife without legitimate reason. There are guidelines for deserting the wife; so he may desert her when she disobeys him, and he may forsake her in bed and the like. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85402.
If the husband does not ask about his daughter, then he is wrong by doing so. Amongst her rights upon him is to take good care of her, discipline her kindly and the like. We advise you to be keen on reconciliation with him for Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And settlement is best.}[Quran 4:128]
You should not give up hope on searching for some wise people who can reconcile between you and him. If settlement occurred, he may give up the idea of having another wife.
Anyway, if he wants to marry and is able to be fair with his wives, he can do that and the first wife should ask for her rights upon him and let him enjoy his rights. For more benefit, refer to Fataawa 95416 and 81469.
It is sufficient in marriage that the husband is religiously committed and of good character, and the conditions of his relatives, i.e. whether they are righteous or not, do not actually matter. It is not obligatory upon him to tell his wife about the real conditions of his relatives, but it is not permissible for him lie to her about that.
Allaah Knows best.