Who should wife obey, her husband or her mother?
12-6-2013 | IslamWeb
Question:
Respected Sholar, I would like to get an answer for the below question as soon as possible. I am a working lady and mother of two kids (health condition not that good). All my earnings of these many years is given to my husband who take cares of us and love us but spend a lot on his family. Now my mother is really upset with all these especially when she sees me working with poor health with no savings for me and kids. My mother insists me to request my husband to give me half the share of his house which is under his name. But his parents, sisters (frequently), brother, brother’s wife and kids all stays in this home that he don’t want to keep the share in my name. Moreover, his family is much concerned for his money than us. Because of which my mother insist me to do this. Please let me know what I should do? Either I should listen to my mother which will make my husband angry or listen to my husband which will make my mother curse me. I am scare of Allah and don’t want to make my god angry. Please suggest what I should do?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, may Allaah reward you for helping your husband and there is no doubt that this strengthens the marital relations and love between you and him.
If the mentioned house is the property of your husband while you have no share in it, then you have no right to ask your husband for anything from this house and your mother has no right to order you to do so.
If we presume that you have a share in it, then you are not obliged to obey your mother as on one hand she has no benefit in this matter, and on the other hand, you might be harmed by raising this issue with your husband. Obedience to parents is not an obligation in such matters. For more benefit on the limits of obedience to parents, please refer to Fatwa 131695.
Hence, we advise you to try to please your mother and to avoid her anger as much as possible. In the future, it is better not to inform your mother of your spending on your husband, and you may save some of your money so that your mother will be comforted by you having some money.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 85012 and 31645.
Allaah Knows best.