A case of divorce in a state of anger

7-4-2014 | IslamWeb

Question:

One man gave divorce to his wife in 2011 in state of anger during the fight three times and ruju after two days. Then in 2013 Husband and wife used to have arguments every now and then due to some outstanding issues that husband didn't wanted his wife to do. One day During the argument husband was in extreme anger and said lots of things to his wife including divorce three times which he didn't realise during the argument. Wife then walked out of shop and return couple of minutes later and wrote on a piece of paper "Divorce Happened" and give it to husband and left. Husband read this and then followed her to house and apologised and ruju within one hour. In January 2014, while the wife was pregnant, husband was unhappy to travel with her family to overseas for 2 months. This argument stayed unresolved for many months and at the end husband compromised and let the wife and three year old daughter go overseas. Later he decided to join them overseas after few days. After arriving overseas husband contact his wife. She wanted him to come to their place and get them. Both end up having argument again and this time mother in law participated as well. After having extreme argument with mother in law on the phone for few minutes, husband and wife then continued arguing via text messages.. Husband was demanding to meet his daughter and that he will bring his daughter with him but not wife since she left without him and didn't listen to him. During this argument, he wrote to his wife "Consider Yourself Divorced. You are not capable of being anyones wife" These words were un thoughtful and unintentional. Husband still don't realise the moment when he wrote these words. Can you please answer in the light of Ahl-e-Hadith Maslak. Jazakallah Khair
Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Marriage is one of the great rites of Islam, and it is one of the Signs of Allaah. Allaah described marriage in the Quran as a solemn covenant; Allaah says (what means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.} [Quran 30:21] Allaah also says (what means): {And how could you take it while you have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?} [Quran 4:21]

Since marriage is of this status, it should not be undermined by uttering words of divorce for trivial reasons, especially since the wise Sharee’ah did not make divorce the first solution for a troubled marriage. In addition to this, it should be noted that both spouses are ordered to treat each other kindly and each one should respect the rights and status of the other: Allaah says (what means): {And due to them [i.e. the wives] is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men [i.e. husbands] have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allaah is Exalted in Might and Wise.} [Quran 2:228]

On the other hand, anger does not prevent divorce from taking place unless the husband is not conscious of what he says as we explained in Fatwa 121374.

It is based on these details [in the above referred Fatwa] that the ruling on divorce is issued, i.e. whether or not it had taken place when you uttered it while in a state of anger; as you are more aware of your own situation.

Three divorces pronounced in one session take place as three divorces according to the view of the majority of scholars and this is the view we adopt here in Islamweb. However, Shaykh Ibn Taymiyyah and his student Ibn Al-Qayyim may Allaah have mercy upon them consider that three divorces in one session take place as one divorce. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa questions 200411 and 89861.

We do not know on what basis you took your wife back the first time after having uttered divorce three times. However, if you consider it to be the most evident scholarly opinion because you are a student of knowledge, or because you followed the opinion of a scholar whose knowledge you trust and he issued you a Fatwa that three divorces in one session take place as one divorce, then in this case, you are not sinful.

Please note that the expression that your wife wrote: “Divorce happened” does not result in anything as divorce is in the hands of the husband. Also, the words of the husband to his wife: “Consider yourself divorced” is a metaphor of divorce and it does not result in divorce except with intention. In addition to this, a divorce in writing is also a metaphor of divorce as clarified in Fatwa questions 87034 and 89894.

As for divorcing a pregnant wife, it is not against the Sunnah, so the fact that the wife is pregnant does not prevent divorce from taking place.

Finally, since the matters which we have mentioned require finding out from you your intention when uttering divorce expressions and your state of anger, then in our view, it is better to consult an Islamic Center in your country or verbally ask a trustworthy scholar there.

Allaah Knows best.

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