A wife should not refuse to move with her husband to any place without a valid reason
24-8-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalam-aalaikum, I married a person who initiated this proposal. My parents married me to him but with disapproval and are unhappy. Their reason is far away distances and cultural differences which I too feel now. I am now not able to get along with this person although I am attached to him. It has been 6 years now and two kids. He supports financially but we stay as if we are two room partners. My husband prior to marriage used to hint me about not going back to his town and showed readiness to stay in my town but never openly committed. My in-laws live there in his town with other son and sometimes come to meet but they dont like me as I am not their choice. We are having trouble in marriage since first day of marriage. Slowly my husband started feeling guilty of not living with his parents. Due to this guilt he is unable to look after us and constantly talk about their plight. I also feel bad for this. But it was told to me prior to this marriage that he will stay in my town which is urban and free of superstitions unlike theirs. But I dont want to angry allah cause he is being disobedient to his parents. For a year I tried staying nearby with my husband but I was uncomfortable and so he took transfer. Due to long distances and kids it is very difficult to travel to that place. My health is also not good. And moreover his guilt for parents is also not letting us live peacefully. His job in the household is just to leave in the morning for office and get back in the evening and if he wants to have physical relationship he will have it. But there is very little consideration for us. There is no connection between us it is just that we married so we are together. I am a highly qualified person and can support myself but not working for his sake because he does not want. Because of his guilt my children are also suffering. He thinks that he earns that is enough for us and so dont need any moral attachment. I want
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His alave and messenger.
We implore Allaah to relieve your distress, ease your hardship, and bless you and your husband with happiness. You are advised to turn to Allaah in supplication regarding all your affairs. Verily, Allaah is the best one to be asked and the best one to answer the supplications. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.} [Quran 2:186]
One of the due marital rights that both spouses should fulfill is to live with each other in kindness. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {…And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allaah is Exalted in Might and Wise.}[Quran 2:228]
If both spouses carry out their duties and fulfill the rights of one another, they will relish marital stability and savour happiness and accordingly their children will have a sound and healthy upbringing. This should be known to all spouses. For more information, please refer to Fataawa 85167 and 85308 about the rights and duties of both spouses.
On the other hand, if the wife did not stipulate in the marriage contract that her husband should not take her out of her town, she is obliged to live with her husband in whatever place he is residing and it is impermissible for her to refuse to move to another place with him for no valid (and Sharee‘ah-acceptable) excuse. For instance, she is allowed not to move with him if the place is not safe. If your husband asks you to travel with him and provides you a separate place of residence, independent from the dwelling of his family, you should travel with him. It is incumbent on your husband to spare you any trouble his family may cause to you. For further information, please refer to Fatwa 224677.
It should be noted that it is better to reach a mutual understanding and reconciliation, whenever possible, whether it is regarding your place of residence, your husband's care for you and your children, or anything else that you may encounter in your marriage. Once more, we emphasize that you should take into account the interest of your children as well as their psychological wellness.
Allaah Knows best.