A wife traveling with her son against the will of her abusive neglectful husband
26-11-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
My father does not support his family and after resorting to physical violence besides verbal abuse, me and my mother have sought to live separately together against his wishes, to stay away from his harm and for our own safety and well being. However I am left jobless and my mother has no other means to be supported, so we have decided to move away to a foreign country where I have the opportunity to finish my schooling degree and therefore find a good halal source of income, InshaaAllah. But again it is against his wishes, while he is unwilling to support us. How can this matter be resolved Islamically when he is unwilling yet able to meet/comply with the needs of his family? and should I continue with my plans to move away with my mother, to use this opportunity for a better life and future for her any myself? JazakaAllahu khayran
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
If the situation with your parents is as you have described in the question - that your father abuses your mother physically and verbally and does not provide for her, then this is considered clear wrong and injustice. It contravenes the religious obligation of the Muslim husband whose Lord has commanded him to treat his wife with kindness as previously explained in Fataawa 86618 and 88304. Also, please refer to Fatwa 125242 about the obligation upon the husband to provide for his wife (and household).
In principle, it is impermissible for the wife to leave her marital house without the permission of her husband, unless there is a necessity. In case of necessity, the wife is allowed to go out without her husband's permission; please refer to Fatwa 88099. If your mother had left the marital house out of her fear for herself given your father’s harm and abuse, then she bears no guilt for that.
We advise you to strive in seeking reconciliation between your parents. You should first implore your Lord and seek His aid, while having good expectations and confidence in Allaah; verily, anyone who asks for relief from his Lord shall never regret. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.} [Quran 2:186]
You are also advised to seek the help of all those whom your father respects and listens to so that they would advise him and remind him of Allaah and urge him to reconcile with your mother, as reconciliation is good. If you succeed in reconciling between them, the problem will be eliminated. However, if no reconciliation is reached and your father maintains his attitude and abuse, then your mother is advised to request divorce even if in exchange for compensation. There is no good in remaining married to a man in such circumstances. Please refer to Fatwa 89039 about Khul‘ (divorce at the request of the wife who pays a compensation).
When the divorce or Khul‘ takes effect and the ‘Iddah (waiting period) of your mother ends, it is permissible for her to travel with you.
As for your question about traveling without the permission of your father, the son is not obliged to seek the permission of his father before traveling unless his life is likely at risk, as is the case when traveling to participate in Jihaad.
Allaah Knows best.