Marrying a pious woman if mother disagrees
8-11-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
assaalamualeikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu, Dear respected brother in Islam, I am 23 year old men , I am planning to get marriage soon as possible . I infirmed to family I had idea to marry a girl 1st they not agreed after some days then they said will arrange. My willingness to marry a women such as face cover & fully deen girl also good religion family back around also I don’t want any dowry from a girl . But my mother doesn’t agreed to look at like a girl, she said if u want to marry a women should give a dowry at least single HOUSE also if you want to cover your wife after marriage u try to change. Then I said I can’t marry like a women inshallah I will marry such a girl then she said if u marry like a girl I will not attend your marriage hereafter even my death also don’t come and see me. my question I am not perfect person & my deen it’s not strong enough. Also my family is not Islamic manner. That’s why try to find a girl who can come from religion ( deen) ways. She will guide me & my children will grow Islamic life style. The main problem my society doing same thing that's why she also said same story, many time i try to compromise but she never hear also agreed. How can I handle to issue ? Pls make due Jasakaukir.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
No doubt the parents, especially the mother, have a great status, and one should endeavor to gain her satisfaction as much as possible. Therefore, it is good to strive to persuade her that you marry a pious and religious woman, and also to convince her not to take a dowry from the woman, because this is contrary to the teachings of Islam. Please refer to Fatwa 85873.
If your mother is convinced, then to Allaah belongs all praise; otherwise, there is nothing wrong with you marrying someone you like, even if your mother does not agree. Obedience to parents is not obligatory in all cases; the scholars have named some conditions in order to avoid the foolishness and desires that sometimes occur with parents, and to avoid the hardship that they may cause to their children without Islamic consideration. Please refer to Fataawa 131695 and 84942.
We advise you to be wise and discuss the matter with your mother in a gentle and soft manner. You should seek the Help of Allaah in trying to convince her, and you may seek the help of some righteous and reasonable people who could influence and convince her and to whom she might listen.
May Allaah facilitate your matter and enable you to do all that is good.
Allaah Knows best.