All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
If the item that your neighbor takes from you is an item from which benefit is driven without being affected, then, it is called ‘Ariyah (lending) and the borrower must return the borrowed item. Allaah Almighty says (what means): {Indeed, Allaah commands you to render trusts to whom they are due.} [Quran 4:58] The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Discharge the trust to whoever trusted you.” [Abu Daawood; At-Tirmithi: authentic; Al-Hakim: good]
If the borrowed item is consumed by use, then it is called a loan that must be paid back quickly. Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Whoever takes people’s money with the intention of paying it back, Allaah will pay it back on his behalf, but whoever takes people’s money with the intention of wasting it, Allaah will inflict loss upon him.” [Al-Bukhari]
It is impermissible for you to take anything from the property of your husband without his permission unless he does not give you financial maintenance that suffices you and your children according to what is reasonable. When Hind bint ‘Utbah said to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, “Abu Sufyaan is a miser and does not provide me and my child with sufficient financial maintenance”; the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied: “You and your child may take what is commonly reasonably sufficient.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
It is permissible for you not to take your husband’s permission before taking insignificant items that women are customarily allowed to dispose of without their husbands’ permission.
As for lying to her, you can avoid lying by saying indirect and ambiguous words that denote many meanings and do not lead to lying if the demands of this woman harm you.
Allaah Knows best.