The ruling on whether grandparents are entitled to obedience in lawful matters
17-1-2016 | IslamWeb
Question:
Shaykh,I realise that grandparents have to be respected a lot and that one is to keep ties with them, but do grandchildren have to obey them in everything that is halal? Could you please explain?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
Grandparents have great rights over their grandchildren; they are the most worthy of the grandchildren's dutifulness after the parents. Many scholars held that the grandchildren are obliged to show dutifulness to their grandparents. Ibn Hazm 
cited the scholarly consensus in this regard; he wrote, “The scholars unanimously agreed that dutifulness towards the parents is an obligation; and they also unanimously agreed that dutifulness towards the grandparent is an obligation.” However, the scholarly consensus in this regard is not established, as Ibn Muflih remarked in his book Al-Aadaab Ash-Sharʻiyyah.
Therefore, some scholars did not hold that children are obliged to seek the permission of their grandparents to participate in jihaad. Mawaahib Al-Jaleel reads:
“Ibn ʻArafah narrated on the authority of Sahnoon that dutifulness towards the grandfather and grandmother is obligatory. However, they are not held in the same status of the parents; if the grandson seeks the permission of his grandparents to participate in jihaad and they refuse, then he may go anyway. It was also stated in Al-Ikmaal at the beginning of the chapter on dutifulness and upholding the ties of kinship that the children are obliged to show dutifulness towards their grandparents just as they are obliged to show dutifulness towards their parents, and that they cannot participate in jihaad except with their permission (grandparents and parents alike).”
The Kuwaiti Encyclopedia of Islamic Jurisprudence reads:
“Scholars reached a scholarly consensus that children are obliged to seek the permission of their parents to participate in jihaad and that it is prohibited otherwise, except in the case of a general mobilization for jihaad (when it is deemed an individual obligation on each and every Muslim to participate in jihaad), because it is incumbent on children to show dutifulness to their parents. Scholars held different views, though, about whether it is obligatory on grandchildren to seek the permission of grandparents before participating in jihaad or not in case the parents are not present. The majority of the scholars - the Hanafis, Shaafiʻi's, and Maalikis, according to one of their reported views - held that the grandparents are held in the same status of the parents in this regard; it is prohibited for children to participate in jihaad without their permission. The predominant opinion in the the Maaliki school suggests that it is recommended to seek the permission of the grandparents to participate in jihaad because they do not have the same status of the parents in this regard; if the grandparents refuse to give their permission to the grandson to participate in jihaad, then he is entitled to go anyway. The Hanbalis held that children are obliged to seek the permission of their parents only in such a case, and not any other relatives, including the grandparents, because it is not suggested or indicated in any of the reported religious texts in this regard.”
Hence, you should know that the scholars held different views regarding the children's obedience to the grandparents with regards to whatever is permissible, and most of them held that this is obligatory.
Allaah knows best.