Refusing donations due to fear of humiliation
15-3-2016 | IslamWeb
Question:
A man does not want to receive donations from people because, he says, it causes humiliation. A sick man is currently living with his son in a room shared/owned by a non-Muslim (its his house). He wants to get a house and job but he thinks that he should do it himself, which will take much longer, even though his situation is not improving. Should he take a donation at the expense of the fact that some people will look down on him because it will improve his situation?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
The religious ruling on accepting donations or gifts entails a detailed account; it differs according to the different circumstances and consequences. If the person feared that accepting the donation would be accompanied with reminders of generosity on part of the giver, reminding the recipient of his favor over him, then it is better to turn down such a donation. However, if he does not fear that the person would remind him of his favor in the future, then the basic principle is that he should accept it. It was narrated on the authority of Saalim ibn 'Abdullaah (ibn 'Umar) that his father reported:
"The Prophet used to give some money (grant) to ʻUmar ibn Al-Khattaab 
and 'Umar would say (to him), 'O Messenger of Allaah, give it to someone who is in more need of it than me.' The Prophet said (to him), 'Take it and keep it in your possession or give it in charity. Take whatever comes to you of this money while you are not keen to have it and not asking for it; but you should not yearn to have what you are not given.'" [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] The version cited by Imaam Muslim reads, "Saalim commented, "And it was on account of this that Ibn ʻUmar never begged anything from anyone, nor refused anything given to him."
Shaykh Ibn ʻUthaymeen 
said:
"If someone offers you something, then accept it because rejecting the gift may drive the giver to harbor hatred for the beneficiary because of turning it down, perceiving him as 'arrogant' or the like. Hence, the Muslim should accept the gift offered to him as long as he has not asked for it, unless he fears that the person offering him the gift would boast and remind him of his generosity in the future, reminding him of his gift and his favors over him. In this case it is better to turn down his gift because when the beneficiary fears that the giver would boast or remind him of his charity and gift in a way that hurts his feelings and offends his dignity or the like, then he should protect himself and turn down such a gift to begin with..."
Hence, the person should consider the consequences of accepting the gift first; if he believes that it is most likely that the person offering him the gift will remind him of his generosity towards him, then it is better for him to turn down such a gift. However, if the dear questioner, with the statement "people will look down on him," means that they would know that he is poor, then this in and of itself does not entail deeming it better for him to turn down this gift as long as it would not result in reminding the recipient of the giver's generosity and favor over him, as previously underlined.
Allaah knows best.