If she does not repent, he must shun her
5-5-2011 | IslamWeb
Question:
I live in Saudi Arabia and my son, a young man, lives and studies in my homeland, Egypt. He knew a girl and had unlawful sexual intercourse with her. She descends from a religiously lenient family. My son is not the first one to have had love relations with her. He wants to marry her even though he is still a student and financially unable to afford the expenses of a home. I object to this because of the bad morals of the girl. Moreover, my son told his friends about the relation with this girl and filmed it. Am I committing a sin when I object to this marriage?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
We would like to bring some points to your attention:
- To frequently supplicate Allaah The Almighty to guide your son and grant him adherence to do deeds that please Allaah The Almighty.
- To deal wisely with your son advising him concerning the necessity of avoiding marrying such an immoral girl as long as she does not sincerely repent. You should encourage him to marry a religious girl. If you cannot do so and it becomes known that he is attached to this girl, then, it is better to let him marry her so that his relation with her will become legitimate instead of being unlawful. Ibn ‘Abbaas 
said that a man came to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said, “My wife does not prevent the hand of a man who touches her.” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Divorce her.” The man replied, “I am afraid that I may yearn for her.” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Then enjoy her.” [Abu Daawood, An-Nasaa’i and others]
The poverty of your son and his inability to bear the expenses of a home should not be a barrier in the way of marriage because Allaah The Almighty guarantees wealth to people like him. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {If they should be poor, Allaah will enrich them from His Bounty} [Quran 24:32]
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “It is due on Allaah The Almighty to help three persons: the Mujaahid in the way of Allaah, the slave whose master has agreed to let him buy his freedom when he wishes to pay the sum and the one who wants to marry seeking chastity.” [At-Tirmithi, Ahmad and others]
You should also advise your son to cover his sins and not to tell his friends about what happened. He should destroy the photos which he has taken. A Muslim is asked not to unveil his sins. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Anyone who has committed any such filth, let him screen himself with the Screen of Allaah The Exalted. Anyone who confesses to us, we will apply to him [the prescribed punishment stated in] the Book of Allaah." [Maalik and Al-Bayhaqi]
Allaah Knows best.