Living with husband who watches porn and chats with sex workers

3-4-2017 | IslamWeb

Question:

Assalaamu alaykum. My husband has been cheating on me for the past 21 years. He has not had a physical relationship with me since 20 years ago. He watches porn and chats with sex workers online. He has a very good reputation. Everyone thinks that he is very pious. I have a son. I cannot leave him because the future of my son will be destroyed. Please help me so that my heart knows peace and calm. I do not deserve this. Regards. Thank you.

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger. 

If your husband is as you described, then he is sinful and disobeying his Lord by watching porn and chatting with girls. Moreover, he is neglectful of your due rights over him; it is your right over him that he guards your chastity (through physical relations). Please refer to fatwas 85308 and 83157 about the rights of the spouses over one another.

We advise you to be patient and to supplicate Allah frequently; verily, there is much goodness in patience and supplication. Please refer to fatwa 83577 on the merits of patience. You should advise your husband kindly and wisely and trigger the fear of Allah within his heart and remind him that he should not be deceived by his apparent religiousness or people's praise of him.

It is a good thing that you endure this situation for the sake of your son; however, if you fear harm for yourself and hope that leaving him would be good for you, then ask for divorce. Allah, The Exalted, will protect your son, and you should utilize all the means that help in giving him a good upbringing. 

For  more benefit, please refer to fatwas 89656 and 199039.

Allah knows best.