Divorcing wife with the word ‘talaaq’
27-7-2017 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have divorced my wife a total of 4 times; there are two divorces regarding which I want to know whether they count or not.
1) My wife called me and said that she had called the police on me; I had a panick attack and almost a nervous breakdown. I was panicking and looking out of the window when I heard sirens. I was crying and really upset, and I said to my wife “Talaq” (divorce), but then afterwards she told me that she had not actually called the police and reported me. Does the divorce count?
2) My wife was being rude and sleeping on the floor in my home against my will; I was very upset. I have had anger issues ever since I was a child. Then she went on the phone to talk to her sister and kept talking about our problems, and I completely lost my temper got up and picked her up and threw her out of the room and at some point I said "Talaq" though I do not know exactly when. I was extremely angry, and I believe my anger took over, because when my wife mentioned to me later that day that I had said “Talaq” I could not clearly remember when I had said it or even if I actually did say it, but I instantly felt very upset and regretful.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
Saying the word “Talaaq” to your wife is not an explicit expression of divorce; it is a metaphor of divorce, and accordingly divorce does not take effect unless you had the intention to issue a divorce, because no pronoun was used to refer to your wife in particular. Haashiyat Al-Qalyoobi ‘ala Tuhfat Al-Muhtaaj reads, “For example, if a husband says to his wife, ‘I divorce you,’ (it counts as a divorce). He must use a pronoun referring to the person he is addressing...”
Sayyid Saabiq 
wrote, “It is a condition in an explicit divorce that it includes a reference to the wife, such as saying, ‘My wife is divorced,’ or, ‘You are divorced.’” [Fiqh As-Sunnah]
If you did not intend to issue a divorce with the word “Talaaq,” divorce does not take effect. However, if you intended to issue a divorce but divorced her because you thought that she had called the police – and if she had not done so, you would not have pronounced the divorce – and then it turned out that she had not called the police, some researching scholars held that divorce does not take effect in this situation. If the divorce was conditioned on a reason and then that reason is proven to be untrue, the divorce is not effective.
Ibn Al-Qayyim said:
“...This means that if the husband had a reason for the divorce and then it becomes clear that that reason does not exist, then, according to the view of (Imaam) Ahmad, the divorce does not take effect. And according to our Shaykh (Ibn Taymiyyah), it is not a condition for the reason to be pronounced in words and, according to him, there is no difference between divorcing her for a reason that was mentioned in words or not mentioned. If it becomes clear that the reason did not take place, then divorce did not take place. This must be the only appropriate opinion in the (Hanbali) school and according to the principles of the Imaams.” [I‘laam Al-Muwaqqi‘een, 4/90]
If you pronounced the words of divorce in a state of extreme anger such that you became completely unaware of what was happening and spoke and acted without having control of yourself, then divorce does not take effect. For more benefit, please refer to fatwas 121374 and 83467.
We advise you to present your question verbally to a reliable scholar whose knowledge and righteousness are trusted in your country, as he can ask you for more details about your state at the time of divorce and your intention behind what you said and thus give you a fatwa accordingly.
Allah knows best.