Retaliating Against Husband's Beating
10-4-2018 | IslamWeb
Question:
thank you for allowing me to ask another question. my question is can a woman leave her husband (divorce) if he beats her in the Islamic way or hit him back
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
A woman is Islamically prohibited from asking her husband to divorce her unless she has a valid reason for doing so.
We have already explained the sound reasons for seeking divorce in Fatwa 131953, but it does not include beating her or disciplining her in the manner that you mentioned in the question. With greater reason, she is not permitted to respond to him in the like manner.
It should be noted that it is stipulated in the Sharee’ah that both spouses should keep good marital relations with each other and that each one should fulfill his obligations towards the other. Allah Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness.} [Quran 4:19]
Al-Jassaas 
said commenting on this verse: “This is an order to the husbands to live with their wives in kindness. This kindness entails fulfilling her rights, such as giving her the dowry, spending on her, being fair when distributing the sleeping time shared (amongst co-wives), not to harm her with harsh words, not abandon her not to lean to other wives than her, not to frown or scowl at her without a sin, and so forth……” [End of quote]
If this is the guidance of Islam in dealing with the wife, then the issue of beating which you have referred to in the question should be understood correctly. Beating (the wife) is not something recommended; rather, it is something permissible in case other means of reconciliation prior to this were of no avail, such as admonishing the wife and deserting her in bed (not to have sexual relations). Also, it should not be beating in order to take revenge or satisfy one’s anger; rather, it should be a light beating for the purpose of making her heedful of her mistake so that she would not be negligent. This is what the scholars have confirmed.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 157095, 165041, 362704, and ">331822.
Allah knows best.