Masturbated, Watched Pornographic Films, and Had Very Evil Thoughts

5-6-2018 | IslamWeb

Question:

Assalam o Alaikum,I used to masturbate and watch porn but I hate that - I repented so many times from these sins but I am falling it on again and again. I used to get too bad and filthy thoughts about Hazrat Aisha( raziAllahuanhuma). When I see a forbidden thing Somehow satan connected it to Prophet's wife. Due to these thoughts I did bad in my exams and I get thought that Allah is responsible for all that bad ( nauzubillah) and I started reviling Allah in my mind. I repented from mastirbation but yesterday night while masturbating i think i should stop but i get thought that who cares Allah - Let Him ( Allah) go. etc Now I want to totally become a good muslim but I thought that I may have done kufr many times and I sometimes feel Allah may have put a seal on my heart due to my activities. Can i go to a doctor for my problem of thoughts or should I do ruqyah
Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Masturbation and watching pornographic movies are both acts of disobedience and a means that lead to immoral acts. Hence, repenting from each of them is obligatory. It should be a sincere repentance that meets the conditions that have already been mentioned in Fatwa 86527.

You have done well by repenting. If you sincerely repent but you become weak and the devil lures you and subsequently you commit an act of disobedience again, then repent again.

Abu Hurayrah may Allaah be pleased with him narrated that the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said in a Qudsi Hadeeth, that Allah Says:

"A slave committed a sin and then said, 'O my Lord! I have sinned, please forgive me!' so Almighty Allah said, 'My slave committed a sin and he knows that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes because of them.' Then he (the slave) again committed another sin and said, 'O my Lord, I have committed another sin, please forgive me,' and Allah said, 'My slave committed a sin and he knows that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes because of them.' Then he committed another sin again (for the third time) and said, 'O my Lord, I have committed another sin, please forgive me,' and Allah said, 'My slave committed a sin and he knows that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes because of them; I therefore have forgiven My slave (his sins), he can do whatever he likes." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

The point is that you should not despair of repentance, but at the same time, do not feel safe (from the punishment of Allah). Who knows, it might be that you die while committing a sin, and so you will not be able to repent. In which case, you would have a bad end to your life [i.e. dying while committing a sin]

The bad thoughts that come to your mind, whether those related to the Lord or to ‘Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her do not harm you as long as they are mere thoughts, which you hate and do not give way to, and make an effort to repel them, as they are from the devil. Repelling them is a sign of belief.

Abu Hurayrah may Allaah be pleased with him narrated, "Some Companions of the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) came to him and asked him, 'We think to ourselves with what one of us considers too grave and serious to talk about.' The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said, 'Do you really feel this way?' They replied, 'Yes.' The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) then said, 'That is a clear (sign of) faith.'" [Muslim]

In conclusion, you did not commit disbelief; so take the initiative to repent and become righteousness, and be sincere to your Lord; if you are sincere to Him, then Allah will be true for you and will make you firm on the Truth and repel from you the whispers of Satan.

You should repeatedly utter the mention of Allah, seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan and perform Ruqyah, as it is hoped that you will be cured from what you experience.

Do not rush to go to a doctor unless you need to do so. If you need to do so, seek a trustworthy doctor and do not inform him about your sins except what you must inform him about, as it is Islamically required for a person to conceal his sins.

Allah knows best.

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