Husband Should Observe Foreplay Even If Not Asked by the Wife

30-9-2020 | IslamWeb

Question:

Salam,I saw a fatwa on this website saying that foreplay is not obligatory and another fatwa about a man who's wife does not like french kiss ( which is actually a form of foreplay), and in the fatwa it was stated that she is obliged to honour the husband's request. What if the wife asks the husband for foreplay but he does not like it, would he also be obliged to honour the wife's request?

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The introductions to sexual intercourse, such as foreplay and other etiquettes pertaining to sexual intercourse, should be observed by both spouses towards one another, and this is part of the enjoined kindness required of both of them.

Based on this meaning is what was narrated on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas that he said: “Verily, I love to adorn myself for my wife, just as I love for her to adorn herself for me because Allah, The Exalted, Says (what means): {And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them…} [Quran 2:228]” [Al-Bayhaqi in As-Sunan Al-Kubra]

Therefore, a husband should be keen on observing foreplay and the like, even if the wife does not ask for it, and he should do so with greater reason if she asks for it. What was mentioned about the obligation on the wife to respond to the request of her husband whenever he asks her to do that is based on the reported Sharee‘ah texts enjoining a wife to obey her husband in what is good (and permissible), and this refers to the matters of sexual intercourse and marital life here. The Sharee‘ah does not deem it obligatory on a husband to do the same, yet it is required of him, as mentioned above.

Allah Knows best.