Limits of Obeying Parents
27-8-2022 | IslamWeb
Question:
I want to buy a car, and I will be using own money that I get payed from work. In 2020 I told my father I wanted to by a car but he gave my excuses not to buy it and I asked again in 2021 and the same excuses he gave me. Now in 2022 still I didn’t get any valid reason not to buy it . Do I have the right to go to the dealership to buy the car and it’s it permissible for me to do so. Is there any Quran or Hadith that support my claim. I’m turning 22 this year and I thing age is not a factor.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If you mean that your father forbade you or explicitly prevented you from buying the car, then we should look into the reason for the forbidding, as the father is merciful to his son and has more experience and knowledge of life than his son, so, he may see and realize the harms and benefits through his understanding that the son does not recognize, and he does not prevent his son from what is in his best interest mostly except for something he is aware of. Thus it is better to ask your father about the reason for his refusal to buy the car. Perhaps he believes that if you own a car at such an early age it might be risky to you or has other good reasons, then in such a case, you must obey him and not buy the car, according to what the scholars mentioned about the obligation to obey parents. The scholars mentioned three controls for the obligation of obedience to parents, and they are as follows:
First: That it must not be in sin, as the Prophet said: “There is no obedience to a creature when it involves disobedience to the Creator.” [Narrated by Ahmed and others, As-Suyuti classified it as Saheeh]
Second: That the parents have a reasonable purpose behind their order to leave a recommended and permissible act, or the order to do the disliked act.
Third: No harm may occur to the child in what they order. A group of scholars stipulates this. Ibn Taymiyyah 
said that a person must obey his parents as long as it does not involve disobedience, even if his parents were disobedient. Imam Ahmed has the same opinion in general. However, this applies to what benefits them and contains no harm; therefore, if the order is hard to be obeyed, but there is no harm for the son, then he must obey, but if there is a harm for him, then it is not a must.
They also mentioned that if the parent's order and his forbidding does not have a valid purpose and arises from bad manners, harsh temper, foolishness, and lack of wisdom (which is quite obvious for any sane person), then the child is not obligated to obey him.
Finally, we advise you to be kind to your father and ask him about the reason behind forbidding you from buying the car. If he tells you a rational reason and it turned out that there is an interest in such forbidding or if he wants to prevent you from harm then obey him, otherwise, there is no harm to buy the car if there is hardship for you in not buying it.
Allah knows best.