Her Husband Stays Up Late at Night Outside with His Friends

21-5-2023 | IslamWeb

Question:

Salam aleikum. I have 3 children and i been married for 13 years . Before to getting married i told my husband that i dont like men who are married but go out in the night with friends and thats something i wont accept. He Said he does not do those things. But since at least 10 years back , he lives like a teenager. He sleeps all day and in the night he is out with friends and comes home 4,5,6 in the morning or sometimes he dosent come home at all but goes and sleeps by friends. He says bcz he is a man he is allowed to go out in the night and in his culture the men are outside with friends in th night. Can you advice regarding this behavour and are there any proofs acording to islam that men should not be out after isha or in the night unless they are in mosque or help muslims? Jazak Allahu khairan

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

As far as we know, there is nothing in the Sharia that prevents a man from going out at night and staying up late with his friends if their staying up late at night is not for a sin. However, the Sharia stipulated that it is disliked staying up late, as in the Hadith of Abu Barzah al-Aslami : “The Prophet liked to delay the ‘Isha' prayer and disliked sleeping before it and talking after it.”

The Fiqh Encyclopedia reads:

“This is if the talk is for no need, but if it is for an important need, then it is acceptable. As well as reading the Quran, the Hadith of the Prophet revising issues of Fiqh and stories of the pious people, talking to the guest, or talking to someone who arrived from a travel and the like, then there is no dislikeability about anything of this. […] ‘Umar narrated: “The Prophet used to stay up at night talking with Abu Bakr discussing some affairs of the Muslims, and I was with them.” [End of quote]

If your husband stays up every night outside and does not stay with you at all, the jurists have stated that the husband must stay with his wife for one night out of every four nights.
Manar al-Sabil reads:

“He must stay overnight with the free woman [who is his wife] upon her request for one night out of every four nights if he has no excuse as the Prophet said to 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr : “Your wife has a right over you.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

If a woman stipulates to her husband at the time of the contract that he should not stay up late outside and he agrees to this condition, he must fulfill it for the Hadith: “The conditions that are the worthiest of being fulfilled are those which make sexual intercourse lawful for you.” [Al-Bukhari]

What we can say to the questioning sister is to strive to advise her husband not to stay up late and be gentle with him in advice so that he may respond.

We also advise the spouses who waste their time staying up late at night and sleeping during the day to fear Allah Almighty in their time and to use it in what benefits them in their religion and their worldly life. Our age is only minutes, hours and days; whoever wasted it has wasted his life. Wasting time is one of the worst hindrances that divert a person from Allah and the Hereafter.

Ibn al-Qayyim said:

“Wasting time is more severe than death, because wasting time cuts you off from Allah and the Hereafter, and death cuts you off from the worldly life and its people.” [End of quote]

Ibn Abbas narrated that the Prophet said: “There are two blessings in which many people incur loss: health and free time.” [Al-Bukhari]

It was also reported that 'Umar said: “I hate to see a man wondering about aimlessly.” That is neither in the matter of this world, nor in the matter of the Hereafter.

The book Az-Zuhd by Imam Ahmad mentioned that 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ood said: “I hate a man with free time (wandering around aimlessly): He neither does something of this worldly life nor in the deeds of the Hereafter.”

A person will be questioned about time by Allah on the Day of Resurrection, as in the Hadith: “A servant's feet will not move away on the Day of Resurrection, until he is asked about his age how he spent it….” [At-Tirmidhi]

Allah knows best.