Involved in Illicit Relationship, Caused Her to Leave Work and Accommodation and Now Hesitant about Marrying Her
12-6-2023 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalamu alaikum brother and sister,Brother and sisters, im in deep pain, i did dhulm to my self and also to others, i had a haram relationship and i regret it. I was planning to marry a girl, she had an Apartment in a city far away from mine and i decided to search for an Apartment here in my city so she can live in my city, and here you may already thinking this is not leading to a good way. I come straight to the point, she left her job/apartment and she already signed the papers to leave her Apartment and in this time i had some doubts about all of this, if it is the right decision to marry her, i disapperead for 2 months, meanwhile she went to stay by her parents but she lost her Apartment and work because of me and she deeply hates me, she wont forgive me either, she doesnt want money nor help from me. What should i do in this regard? I thought about looking for an Apartment for her in her city to compensate the lossBut i will be paying 300€ extra every month because her Apartment was 500€ and now the costs of Most Apartment are 800-900€, i thought she pay 500€ ans the rest i pay it but for how much in order to have her right given back? I just dont wanna engage in Allah’s wrath because i did big huge Dhulm to her. Thank you Brothers and sisters!
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
You should have first taken the right path in choosing a wife by investigating about the girl and asking about her the trustworthy people who know her. If they praise her well, especially in religion and morality, then approach her family to get engaged to her, so that they would give her their opinion on what she wants to do regarding leaving work and accommodation. On the other hand, you should have also advised her to wait if you had known that she wanted to do this, especially since you were reluctant to marry her.
Therefore, you were wrong in dealings with this girl and your promise to marry her while you are still hesitant about it, and you let her act on that promise until she fell into the problems that you mentioned. So, your behavior in its entirety is a kind of deception to her. Hence, you have first to repent to Allah a sincere repentance, and if this girl is righteous, and it was made easy to marry her, then that is more appropriate to do, otherwise cut off your relationship with her.
As for compensating her with some money, it does not appear to us in what you mentioned that you are obliged to do so, as she was the one who rushed to decide to leave work and housing. She should have been prudent and consulted people until it becomes clear to her whether you were going to marry her or not.
Allah knows best.