Her Husband Considers her Disobedient and Refuses to Spend on Her
20-7-2025 | IslamWeb
Question:
My husband and I are still married, but live apart.No talaq.Our baby is 4 month.I breastfeed partially(20-40 ml a day).I stay with my sick mother (73, cancer).He says I’m disobedient for staying there, stopped supporting me.My husband is a stingy person.He refused to give me even $10 weekly for small needs(we have food home).Now he refuses to give regular money for the child and only wants to buy things himself.I don’t want financial control. can I ask for fixed amount of money for the child?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
We ask Allah, the Most Generous, to grant your mother complete healing and good health, and to bring about reconciliation between you and your husband. We also advise you to increase in supplication.
Your husband is religiously obligated to provide for the child in a reasonable manner, covering food, drink, and clothing. If he is fulfilling this responsibility, then he has done what is required of him. There is no harm in you asking him for additional financial support, and he should be generous if he is financially able, as Allah the Exalted says (what means): {Let the wealthy man spend according to his means. As for the one with limited resources, he should spend according to whatever Allah has given him. Allah does not burden any soul beyond what He has given him…} [Qur'an 65: 7]
However, if your husband chooses not to give beyond the obligatory support, there is no blame on him as long as he is fulfilling his basic financial duties.
Your care for your mother is commendable and considered an act of dutifulness. However, if she has other sons or daughters, then her care is a collective responsibility shared among all her children, whether by attending to her directly or by hiring a trustworthy maid to care for her.
You should try your best to care for your mother without leaving your marital home without your husband's consent, as leaving the house without his permission is considered Nushūz (disobedience), and disobedience will deprive you of your right to financial support unless you are pregnant. That said, if your mother's care depends solely on you, because no one else is available and you cannot afford to hire a maid, then some scholars have held that it is permissible for you to care for her even if your husband objects.
Lastly, we advise you both to engage in calm, respectful dialogue and try to resolve your issues. If needed, involve wise and trustworthy individuals to help mediate and bring about reconciliation. Making peace is always better, and it is not appropriate to leave things in a continued state of separation.
Allah knows best.