Ruling on teaching a woman how to please her husband

13-1-2014 | IslamWeb

Question:

A woman teaches one of her sisters how to treat her husband, how to please him and which words should be said to him, such as ‘you are the apple of my eyes’ and other expressions. Noting that she uses a polite style and does so out of giving advice for the Sake of Allaah and to help her sister to be an affectionate wife according to the Hadeeth that reads: “Your wives among the people of Paradise are the affectionate…”
Has she spread her marital secrets and committed sins by doing so? If it is not a right way of teaching, will you please advise us how to act in a right and useful way? May Allaah Reward you.

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

The questioner is permitted to mention such expressions to one of her sisters, intending to teach her how to treat her husband to gain his affection. It is justifiable for two reasons:

First: those expressions do not reveal the husband’s secrets.

Second: it is permissible, in the course of education, to mention what is in principle forbidden, such as words and states of intercourse. In a Hadeeth on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah it was narrated that she said: “If the two circumcision organs meet , Ghusl becomes obligatory. I did it together with the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.” [At-Tirmithi; Al-Albaani: Saheeh]

According to another narration, it was narrated that she said: “I used to make Ghusl with the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, from one container, both of us were in a state of Janaabah. He used to order me to cover my private parts so that he could caress me when I am menstruating.” [Al-Bukhari]

Anyway, if the questioner teaches her sister those expressions without letting her know that she says them to her husband, it will be better.

Allaah Knows best.