All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
It is proved by Quran and Hadeeth, and agreed upon by the Muslim scholars that it is desirable for a husband to tolerate his wife's mistakes. If the husband notices some unattractiveness, bad behavior or ill character from his wife it is better to ignore them as long as she is not committing adultery, major sins, or denying the marital duties. In fact, being tolerant with her helps correct her mistakes and makes her fulfill her marital duties smoothly. Moreover, Allah will reward the husband for his patience and tolerance. Allah Says (what means): {And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.} [Quran 4:19]
If you are patient with her and if you try to correct her mistakes in a kind way Allah may lead her to the right path and bless her by following the truth. And He may grant the husband good and pious children with her. In this concern, the Prophet said: “A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” [Muslim and Ahmad]
On the other hand, if a husband dislikes his wife because she is not chaste, and does not adhere to the obligations of the Sharee’ah such as performing prayers and fasting in the month of Ramadan, and he cannot force her to do so, then he has to divorce her.
Allah Says (what means): {…and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse.} [Quran 4: 19]
Allah made it lawful to treat one's wife with harshness if she commits illegal sexual intercourse and to take back the Mahr (bride’s gift) he had given her when he first married her.
We mentioned here the general rule of the Sharee’ah on the above issue.
We could not find the Hadeeth regarding the wife controlling her tongue in the known available references here. If that Hadeeth is found and is authentic then its meaning would be congruous to the rule we mentioned here.
As for the Hadeeth that if a woman prays her five obligatory prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, guards her chastity and obeys her husband she will enter paradise through the door she chooses." Imam al-Haythami wrote in his book “Majma’ az-Zwaa-id” that Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad and At-Tabaraani in al-Awsat narrated it. He also said Ibn Laheah is one of the narrators of the Hadeeth; his Hadeeth is good and the other narrators are the narrators according to the criteria of Saheeh Hadeeth; i.e. their narrations are mentioned in Saheeh (Authentic) Ahadeeth.
Imam Al-Manawi said in the explanation of the above Hadeeth: If one asks why the Hadeeth states praying and fasting only, without mentioning other fundamentals of Islam, then the answer is that the Hadeeth focuses on those matters, because women neglect them more than any other fundamentals. Most women disobey their husbands. The obligation of Zakaah, Hajj are not mentioned here because women generally do not have money, and these could not be performed without money. Therefore, the Hadeeth emphasizes the common matters related to women.
This Hadeeth does not prove that the mentioned acts in it are sufficient, and by practicing them a woman becomes free to commit sins or does not have any other obligations.
Certain acts are specified here only for their excellence and to give priority to certain good acts over others and to clarify that some bad acts are worse than others. So, if a woman practices those acts Allah will enable her, as a way of honoring her, to enter Paradise through any door she chooses.
As for the third Hadeeth about Allah accepting Du'a (supplications) at the time of rain, At-Tabaraani narrated this Hadeeth; in the chain of this Hadeeth there is a narrator named Ufayr ibn Madan whom all the scholars of Hadeeth are agreed that he is weak.
The text of this weak Hadeeth is as below:
Abu Umamah narrated that the Prophet said: “The Doors of the Heavens are opened and supplications are responded to and answered in four moments: When the rows get together in the battle field, at the time of rain, at the time of Iqaamah (call to begin a congregational prayer) and at the time of looking at the Kabah.”
You should know that weak Ahadeeth cannot be accepted as part of the Share’ah and therefore, need not be acted upon.
Allah knows best.