Divorcee Committed Zina and Wants to Marry
24-9-2001 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am a divorced Muslim woman who had a friendship with a decent Muslim man. This friendship turned into an emotional relationship that was heading in the right direction. Unfortunately, we were unable to control our feelings at one point and did an ugly deed. Right now the circumstances does not allow us to get married in public. However, he is asking me to marry him and keep it a secret until we can announce our marriage because I feel terrible about this mistake. Is it better for Allah's forgiveness of what we have done and remedy to marry traditionally or through a proper marriage that is not announced to everyone? Or is it better to wait until the circumstances are right? In that case I am afraid something will happen in between that will change his mind and he will not want to get married at all. I am very sad and regretful for what I did and hope that Allah will forgive me. In the mean time I am very confused what is the right step to fix this terrible mistake. He is a good man basically and has proper Muslim basics, he could make a good husband and father and I would like to have a proper marriage in front of everyone. Should I agree to his terms or wait till Allah decides what is right for me? Please help me, I am desperate and don't know what to do.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First, you should know that it is unlawful according to Islam for a man to befriend a woman who is not a Mahram to him or stay alone with her, as doing so might lead to falling into vice and forbidden acts. The Prophet warned against looking at women who are not Mahram or staying alone with them. He said: “No man ever stays alone with a woman but Satan becomes their third (companion).” [At-Tirmithi]
The Prophet also said: “Beware of entering a place where there are women.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Indeed, the fact that you and this man committed Zina (fornication or adultery) is but an example of this danger. In fact, it is a result of your failure to obey the Sharee’ah rulings.
Now, the appropriate solution for you is to get married. But this marriage has to fulfill all the conditions of a valid marriage in Islam; viz., there should be a Wali (guardian for the woman) and two trustworthy witnesses. But you are not required to make your marriage public. If the Wali is present that is good; otherwise he may appoint someone else to act on his behalf. The Prophet said: “Any woman who gets married without the consent of her Wali, her marriage is null and void.”
Know also that you cannot marry this man before you both repent to Allah from what you have committed and commit yourself never to fall in this sin again. On the other hand, if you can wait until you make your marriage public, then that would be better.
Allah knows best.