Christian Woman ‘Involved’ with Muslim Man
15-6-2002 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am a 50-year-old divorced Christian woman who is involved with a divorced Muslim man. We have been together for 3 years. He is a very religious person, and except for being with me I feel is a committed Muslim. We cannot be married because I would loose insurance coverage for a serious illness, and his insurance would not cover me. It would be considered a pre-existing condition. My medical bills are in excess of 3000 per month. We both love each other deeply, and intend on spending the rest of our lives together. Is there any blessing from the Muslim religion that would allow us to be married in the eyes of god, just not by our government? It really hurts me to know being with me is causing this dear man to lead a double life. Even though I do not practice the religion I respect it, and attempt to help him follow its rules. At this point in my life I cannot see myself converting, mostly because of the dress code, and other restrictions placed on women. I am reading everything I can get my hands on to better educate myself. I just love this dear man so much I would like to ease his burden if I can.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
1) We pray to Allah to bless you by enlightening your heart with Islam. As long as you are interested in Islam, surely Allah will make it easy for you, Allah Willing.
2) Know that Islam suits the nature of human beings; it is an easy religion to follow and it confirms the authenticity of other religions before their corruption. The Prophet Muhammad is the brother of other previous Prophets.
3) Among the merits of Islam is that it presents clear pieces of evidence that appeal to the logic of human beings who are in disagreement with it. Allah Says (what means): {Verily, the likeness of 'Isa (Jesus) before Allah is the likeness of Adam. He created him from dust, then (He) said to him: "Be!" - and he was.} [Quran 3: 59]
Indeed, Allah Created Jesus only by means of a mother without a father while He Created Adam from clay without any father or mother. Why don't the Christians believe in Adam that he is son of Allah whereas the miracle in the creation of Adam is bigger than that in the creation of Jesus!?
4) Islam does not allow any one to compel people to change their religion. Allah Says (what means): {There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong.} [Quran 2: 256]
5) Also, among the merits of Islam is that it does not only urge women to be chaste, but also protects their honor and respects them. Thus, women are ordered to wear Hijaab. Hijaab is very easy if a woman wears it desiring completely the benefits of it.
First of all, it is the Command of Allah, from which only benefits are derived, leads to Paradise, and keeps away from Hellfire.
6) The procedure of marriage in Islam is very easy. A person is not burdened with expenses as common in most societies. The Prophet asked one of his companions to provide only a ring of iron as bridal money to get married. Once he made another one get married to a woman on his promise to teach her the portion of the Quran that he knew.
7) Know that having a friendship without lawful marriage is forbidden in Islamic Sharee'ah. So, you should hasten to get married in the presence of your guardian, two trustworthy witnesses, and bridal money given by the husband. When these conditions are met, the marriage becomes valid; registering it at the legal authorities is not compulsory; i.e., to be valid. Islam allows Muslims to marry chaste women from Christians or Jews.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 84349, 91563, 21363, 30315 and 90486.
Allah knows best.