Using Friends to Find Husband before Informing Her Parents

14-7-2002 | IslamWeb

Question:

I have frequently heard that it is permissible for a woman to arrange her own marriage through pious Muslim female friends (and usually the help of their husbands) without any impermissible contact with the intended husband. Is this true? Does this mean that a woman can let some friends know that she is interested in marriage and ask them to help her, but only involve her parents after a man has been chosen?

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

There is no blame on a woman to tell her righteous female friends that she wishes to marry in order that they make every effort through their husbands on her behalf. A woman who acts as a mediator should not describe her friend, who seeks marriage, to her husband, but tells her husband about her friend's qualities and excellences in general. Then, when someone asks for the girl's hand, he has the right to look at her or to receive her description written on paper, but no other man is permitted to look into such a description.

The above-mentioned method is a good and beneficial way, and is above being compared with the illicit relations that are done for the sake of marriage.

Allah knows best.