Severing kinship ties is a major sin
28-6-2004 | IslamWeb
Question:
I really hate my younger brother who during a quarrel asked me to get out of the house by screaming. I think he is a hypocrite who thinks he is good and pure. I really miss my mother whom I liked very much. For the past 5 years or so I did not visit her as she is residing with him. I really can't stand him at all who thinks he is pious. He does not respect me at all. But 2 years ago he came to my house and asked me for forgiveness but I can't forgive him no matter how hard I tried. When he tries to greet me I just avoid him or just touch with my three fingers. I can see that he is trying to patch our relations but I'm not going to forgive him at all as I also lost $53,000 because of him. If he dies before me I will not attend the funeral. All my hard earned money is gone because of him. Please advise as regards to Quran and Hadith. Am I doing the right thing?
Answer:
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
One of the main aims of Shariah is to enable the Muslims to live in the best states of familiarity, friendship and mutual love. If this is the case concerning Muslims in general, the matter is more emphatic when the Muslims in question are close relatives. This is yet more stressed when these are brothers.
So, we recommend you to accept your brother's excuse and forgive him, no matter how bad he acted towards you. By doing so, Allah might put you in the group of pious people whom he described in the following verse. Allah says: "who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allâh loves Al-Muhsinûn (the gooddoers)." (Aali Imran 3:134)
It is also narrated in Sahih Muslim that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "Allah does not give the person who forgives except more glory and honors."
In addition, severing kinship ties is a major sin. Allah menaces people who cut off kinship relations by severe punishment. Allah says: "Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight." (Muhammad 47: 22-23)
Al-Bukhari and Muslim reported from Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "Allah created the creation, and when He finished from His creation the Rahm (kinship) got up, and Allah said (to it). 'Stop! What do you want?' It said: 'At this place I seek refuge with You from all those who sever me (i.e. sever the ties of Kinship.)' Allah said: 'Would you be pleased that I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you, and I will sever the relation with the one who will sever the relation with you'. It said: 'Yes, O my Lord'. Allah said (to it). 'That is for you".
From the above, you know that you are wrong in your approach towards him. You should rather visit him and seek reconciliation with him. In fact, your refusal to accept your brother's excuses and your determination to sever ties with him, make you lose two opportunities of where your sins could have been forgiven weekly. Muslim reported in his Sahih that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "The gates of paradise are opened Mondays and Thursdays and every slave of Allah who does not associate any partner with Allah has his/her sins forgiven except the person who has an enmity with his brother. Allah says: "Delay these two until they reconcile. Delay these two until they reconcile. Delay these two until they reconcile."
Now if you were given the choice between the loss of this Dunya (worldly affairs) and the loss of your religion, which would you choose? Which is greater? On the other hand, you did not mention how your brother caused you this material loss. He might have reasons of which we are not aware and he might have done his best to help you but things might not have happened as he calculated or planned.
Anyway, we suggest that you sit with your brother with a will to reconcile and in a friendly environment and discuss with him all matters of difference. You may seek the help of some pious and wise people if you feel that is needed. However, if you choose to forget about all past conflicts and forgive everything, that would be much better and we hope Allah will greatly reward you for doing so.
Finally, note the following two things:
1. Persevere in keeping ties with your mother as what happened between you and your brother can not be a cause for harming that sacred relation. So hasten to repent and restore your relations with your mother immediately.
2. It is unlawful for the Muslim to describe his brother with hypocrisy. Muslim reported in his Sahih from Ibn Omar that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "Any person who says to his brother: "O, Kafir", one of them (the two people) draws that on himself. If it is true, it is as he said, otherwise it is returned to the one who said it."
Allah knows best.