Self divorce
29-8-2004 | IslamWeb
Question:
I want to know whether there any such thing in Islaam as "self divorce" meaning Talaaq or divorce happens on its own after some circumstances as in case which I'm referring. A husband has left his wife who has a kid from him. He doesn't support her in any way n she has no sort of contact with him not even in mail. He doesn't even mail her or call her, didn't even divorce her. I want to know what law applies for her case. What does Shariah say about this? I've heard that if such case happens stays for two years then there is a self divorce in Islaam. Because Islaam doesn't allow a woman to be hung like this. Please explain in detail.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
It is incumbent upon each spouse to live with and treat the other honourably, as Allaah says (interpretation of meaning) addressing men: {…And live with them in kindness….}[4:19]. Allaah also says (interpretation of meaning): {…And due to them [i.e. the wives] is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable…}[2:228].
It is forbidden for either of them to procrastinate duties owed to the other, and each has to perform his/her obligations towards the other. The right of the wife upon her husband is to be provided with food, clothing and shelter. If the husband is absent from his wife and did not leave her any provisions, and it is not possible for her to borrow money on his behalf, then she can ask to invalidate the marriage through an Islamic court of Justice, as Allaah says (interpretation of meaning): {…Then [after that], either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment…}[2:229].
'The Caliph 'Umar 
wrote to the leaders of soldiers who were absent from their wives, ordering them to provide for their wives or to divorce them. If they divorced, they sent sustenance for the previous period (during which they left their wives without provision).' [Al-Bayhaqi, Al-Shaafi'ee and Sa'eed Ibn Mansoor]
The same applies if the husband is absent and the wife is neglected as regards sexual intercourse, because it is incumbent for the husband to have sexual relations with his wife, as this is one of the greatest objectives of marriage. If she is neglected by not having her sexual desires fulfilled, she can ask for divorce.
Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah 
said: 'If the wife is harmed due to her husband not having sexual relationships with her, this necessitates divorce.'
We advise the sister asking the question to take her matter to an Islamic court, if any, or to the Muslim community if there is no Islamic court, to look into the case and oblige the husband to fulfill his obligations according to the Islamic Jurisprudence. The Judge is the person who grants divorce if the husband does not divorce her voluntarily. Thus, the questioner should know that there is no such 'self divorce' as stated in the question.
Allaah knows best.