Felt as a stranger at his cousin's wedding party
6-9-2004 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have various questions and I hope you can answer them as soon as possible.
The other day I was at my cousin's wedding party and there was mixing of females and males of all ages and they were talking and laughing with each other during the wedding, however I did not take part in this, in matter of fact I felt a stranger among them and I wanted to leave as soon as possible. The question is: why did I feel like a stranger among my relatives, is it a good thing also I am always distress whenever I see Muslims behaving like non-Muslims and it makes me sad as I cannot do anything about it. Can you advise me what I should do? Also I am in the state of sorrow for the Muslims around the world as they are being killed and nobody seems to care even the Muslims themselves do not care. Is there a cure for this? How can a person differentiate between a wise Islaamic scholar and ignorant Islaamic scholar?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Mixing between opposite sexes is dangerous since it leads to many forbidden acts especially in the current period in which dissoluteness and immorality are widespread.
If a Muslim is invited to a marriage ceremony and he is aware that some prohibitions will occur there, such as mixing and the like, he is allowed to attend such a ceremony only if he is able to stop such prohibitions from taking place. By doing so he carries out two obligations; accepting the invitation and preventing the evil. He should not attend the party if he cannot change the evil since it leads to temptation. Allaah says (what means): {And when you see those who engage in [offensive] discourse concerning Our verses, then turn away from them until they enter into another conversation. And if Satan should cause you to forget, then do not remain after the reminder with the wrongdoing people.}[Quran 6:68].
Imaam Ibn Al-'Arabi 
said explaining the above verse: 'The verse is evidence that associating with those who commit major sins is not allowed.'
Feeling sorrow when you observe people disobeying Allaah is a sign of faith. No doubt, a true believer feels deep sorrow and gets angry whenever he sees people indulging in sins. He wishes that he had the ability to change the evil. He also becomes sad at the present painful situation of Muslims. However, it is the rule of Allaah that truth and falsehood are always in conflict and combat; sometimes the truth overcomes falsehood and sometimes it appears the opposite, but ultimately the truth prevails.
Allaah says (what means): {…And the [best] outcome is for the righteous} [7:128]. Allaah also says (what means): {…But you will never find in the way [i.e. established method] of Allaah any change, and you will never find in the way of Allaah any alteration.}[35:43].
However, a Muslim should examine himself regarding his obedience of his Lord and His Prophet 
. He should take the initiative to correct himself first and then the others. He should not bother much about the disbelief of disbelievers as Allaah said to His Prophet (what means): {And do not be grieved, [O Muhammad ], by those who hasten into disbelief. Indeed, they will never harm Allaah at all. Allaah intends that He should give them no share in the Hereafter and for them is a great punishment.}[3:176].
He also says (what means): {And whoever has disbelieved - let not his disbelief grieve you. To Us is their return and We will inform them of what they did. Indeed, Allaah is Knowing of that within the breasts.}[31:23].
As for the way to distinguish between a scholar and one who is ignorant, a scholar always refers to the Quran, Sunnah and to the way of the (practice and understanding) of the companions of the Prophet and relies upon that in issuing rulings, while an ignorant person follows his whims and desires, and issues baseless rulings that contradict Islam.
Allaah knows best.