Conflict over family finances
1-11-2004 | IslamWeb
Question:
I would like clarification on a financial issue. I work outside of the home, and prior to marriage to my second husband, I agreed to help with financial expenses, this was a verbal agreement. (However my husband got us into 1000's of dollars of Ribaa debt, I had no debt when I married him). Currently, I pay for our daughters' Islamic school tuition, her pre-paid college fund, and monthly internet, which totals about $650 US. I have 2 children from my first marriage who reside with us during the school year. For these 2 children, I spend about $700 a month on them for Islamic school tuition, medicine, pre-paid college fund, and school lunch. Their father only sends $400 a month which pays for the tuition of one child only. My current husband resents that I do not contribute more to the household expenses. I feel that I cannot afford more, but know that he is not financially responsible for my first two children. After all I spend on the children, I have about $300. I buy my own clothes, pay for my own medical treatment, put gas in the vehicle when I drive it, and rarely ever ask my husband for money. My husband complains that I do not contribute to the household expenses and does not even recognize the $650 I spend monthly, saying that it is not enough. He wants me to send my children back to their father. But I know their father does not provide adequate supervision, and my son would have to go to a non-Islaamic school because he will only pay tuition for my daughter.
The questions:
1. According to Shariah how should this problem be dealt with?
2. I would like to stop paying for our daughters' school and give him $200 a month for food for my other 2 children.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Marital life has many noble objectives; any other worldly pleasures are meaningless compared to it. One of these objectives is the stability of life. This is an objective that the husband and wife have to work together to achieve, by helping one another and understanding each other regarding marital life matters. The issues that your question comprised will be summarized as follows:
First Point: Islamicly, you are not obliged to spend anything on things that your husband is obliged to provide. It is solely his responsibility.
Second Point: Your volunteering to help is a strong incentive to foster friendship, affection and the continuity of marital life.
Third Point: It is not permissible for your husband to interfere in the money that you possess as long as you spend it in what is permissible.
Fourth Point: You do not have to repay any portion of the loan that your husband took.
Fifth Point: Your husband is not obliged Islamicly to accept your two children from a previous marriage. If they are still at the age of fostering, you are not entitled to foster them since you are married to a second husband. The responsibility for their fostering belongs to the female relatives who are more appropriate to foster them, or to their father if he is suitable for that, and it is the obligation of their father to spend on them. So, we advise you to discuss each of there matters with your husband in the light of the information we have provided. Both of you have to see how unity and stability can be maintained in your marital life. This should be the first priority.
Allaah knows best.