Wants to know best way to be in contact with her fiancé' before marriage
20-4-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have been engaged for almost a year and Insha Allah, am getting married soon. During this one-year with the consent of our parents my fiancé and I have stayed in regular touch through email and sometimes have also spoken on the phone.
What I would like to know is that if my emails and telephone conversations have generally centered round religion and general queries (about each other) then is emailing OK. And all this is done with the complete knowledge of our parents. In fact they encourage it though they are not keen that we meet in-person (and if don’t meet outside). I have stayed in contact with the guy mainly because of religious reasons. He was not one to offer Sunnah prayers or read Qur'an regularly or try understanding various aspects from the religious point of view while I have always had the Niyyah to marry to guy who tries to follow the straight path and tries to learn his religion. Masha Allaah the two of us have come a long way in terms of understanding Islam. But some people say it is better to communicate with a guy after Nikaah. If we remain formal and stick to Islam and general queries is this valid? What if after the Nikaah this person had refused to follow Sunnah what would I have done then?
I would greatly appreciate if you could shed some light on this for young Muslims who are trying to learn how to walk the Straight Path and practice Taqwa in this day and age.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
The girl and her guardian should choose the husband on the basis of his religion and good moral conduct and they should make Istikhaara prayer before accepting him. They should also seek the advice of those who know and socialize with the person who proposes for marriage.
If it is predestined for you to get married to him even though he does not perform supererogatory prayers, like the Sunnah prayers performed after or before the obligatory prayers and Dhuha prayer and the like, then this does not affect the validity of marriage, and it is not a valid religious reason for a woman to ask for divorce on this basis. Even if the husband abandons performing [some] obligations, and the wife is not harmed by him doing so, either in this world or in the hereafter, it is still not a sound reason for you to ask for divorce.
Finally, it should be noted that the discussion between young females and young males and the exchange of messages between them is a cause of corruption, therefore it is an obligation to refrain from this. If we suppose that there is an acceptable purpose for doing so, the religious requirements must be met, like the knowledge of a Mahram or parents of the content of the message or telephone discussion to avoid any temptation or suspicion.
Allaah knows best.