Wife stole her employer's money and had an affair with another man
12-12-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I live in France and I have been married for 6 years with a wife that her father was obliging her to work as a singer in Egypt (my wife is from Egypt). She came with her father to sing as he has a contract with a hotel. I married her to get her out of this and dirty environment, we were happy, I was helping her family with money to live, I helped her to learn French, English and I told her to be interested in religion as I pray, fast, never drunk alcohol....Then, she decided to start working in order to help her family and to alleviate the burden on me. During the 6 years, my wife told me that I have never done everything and I am not the man for her as I did not show attention and love to her and my dreams to succeed in my career were too big for her. Sometimes, I was though with her to make her understand that living abroad requires discipline and Taqwa. She never listened. Afterward, I started having some financial problems and we started having problems. All her concerns were that I was showing love. I told her to be patient and that I have giving you everything I have. Now, I discovered from her that she has been influenced by her colleagues and she flirted with a man (kissing, touching, but they did not sleep. After that, she stole money from her job to send to her mother because and said she did that to avoid being angry at her. I told to help but her parents were always asking more and more. I feel now that she cheated my honor, she destroyed her job and brought me problem. She has never listened to my advices and now I feel I lost 6 years of my life with a worthless woman. Now, she said that she understood and she repents. I have no ore respect for her, no trust, I am confused, I started the legal divorce. I know she will have a hard life in Egypt. Please advise me.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
First of all, we ask Allaah to greatly reward you for your good intention in guiding this woman. In principle, a Muslim should only marry a pious woman. The Prophet 
said: "A woman is married for four qualities: her wealth, her honourable lineage, her beauty and her religion; so choose the religious one." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Therefore, if one is tolerant in this matter, this could lead to many problems and unpleasant consequences. So, if your wife is as you mentioned in the question, that she has a relationship with another man, and that she stole some money from work, in addition to her not listening to your advice and guidance, then she is sinful; she disobeyed her Lord and neglected the rights of her husband. As regards her claim that she repented and regretted what she did, if you are pretty sure that she has sincerely repented and that is performing good deeds, then it is more appropriate to keep her as a wife, especially if you are blessed with children with her. However, if you are sure that she has not sincerely repented and her matters are doubtful, then divorce her; because a woman who has a relationship with a man other than her husband, it is not worth being the wife of a chaste Muslim husband, and it is not safe that she will not give birth to children who are not from her husband.
By the same token, we do not know what you mean by saying you started the procedures of divorce, if you had uttered that you divorced your wife, or that you wrote that you divorced her intending to initiate divorce, then she is divorced. Taking her back or not depends on, as we have previously mentioned, whether she has sincerely repented or not. However, if you did not utter divorcing her or that you did not write the word divorce while intending to initiate divorce, then she is still considered as your wife.
Allaah Knows best.