Lying to wife to avoid misunderstanding about past marriage plan
21-5-2007 | IslamWeb
Question:
AlSalaam Alikum Dear Scholars Over 30 years ago I was planning to marry a Christian woman. At the time she gave me a ring and earrings to modify for her. She then left to another state without my knowledge and I still had the items with me. Seventeen years later I married my wife who after our wedding discovered the ring and earrings. I couldn't tell her the story so I lied and told her they were for her. I now know where the Christian lady lives and have returned to her money I owed her. I don't know what to do with the items without hurting my wife's feelings if I told her the truth. Please give me your advice. I can send money to the women to compensate her. JAK
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
The matter in this case depends on the owner of the ring and earrings, i.e. the Christian woman. If she accepts taking a compensation for them [ring and earrings], then all the best, but if she insists to take them back, you are obliged to give them back to her, in which case you should look for a suitable way to take them back from your wife. You may, for instance, use Tawriyah (saying something which has more than one meaning and intending a meaning different from what the listener is likely to understand), then if she is convinced, all the best. However, if you are not able to convince her except by lying to her, then do so, like telling her that you want to take them to the goldsmith for reshaping them. It is religiously permissible to lie with the wife as this may lead to the benefit of keeping the marital relationship.