Responsibility of both husband and wife for taking care of their children
24-6-2007 | IslamWeb
Question:
Whose duty is it to: 1. take children to the doctors 2. do homework with them, 3. take small kids out to play and supervise them when e.g mother is busy with housework and supervision of six small children, mother is feeling ill, etc.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Attending to children's affairs, taking care of them, and doing what benefits them, like helping them in their homework and protecting them from what could harm them, all this is termed by the jurists 
as fostering. Both parents should do the fostering if the bond of marriage is still valid between them. However, we have not come across any statements of the jurists about dividing the roles between them. It could be that customs may determine this. If according to the customs, it is the duty of the mother to supervise the children when they are playing, and to help them in their homework, then it is the mother who should do this, and if according to the customs, it is the duty of the father to take them outside and to the hospital, then it is the father who should do this, as the mother is required to stay at home and she should not go out except for a necessity.
Both spouses should help each other in cultivating the children and fulfilling their needs, because cooperating in this regard is a sign of a good marital relationship, and Allaah Says when addressing the husbands (what means): {And live with them in kindness.}[Quran 4:19]; and He Says when addressing the wives (what means): {And due to them [i.e. the wives] is similar to what is expected to them, according to what is reasonable.}[Quran 2:228].
Undoubtedly, helping the wife is among good morals and good characteristics, especially when the wife is sick, exhausted, or busy. The Prophet said: “The best among you are the best (when dealing) with their wives.”
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88319, 85424 and 85308.