When I was 12 years old I used to sleep beside my mother who was 31 years old. I did not know what was right or wrong, and she allowed or encouraged sexual contacts with her from me. Now, when I remember that I cannot live or sleep as a good normal Muslim. What is my situation in Islam, what can I do for God to forgive me and her?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
Know that Zina (adultery and fornication) is a major sin. Allah, The Great and Almighty, has mentioned it in the Quran and linked it with Shirk (polytheism). Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, says when describing His righteous servants (what means): {And those who do not invoke with Allah another deity or kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed], except by right, and do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse. And whoever should do that will meet a penalty. Multiplied for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein humiliated - Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.} [Quran 25: 68-70]
If the punishment of Zina, in general, is in such a painful and an unbearable state, then it becomes worse and more severe if one commits such a crime with his Mahaarim [plural of Mahram], which means unmarriageable women such as mother, sister, daughter, …).
Therefore, many scholars of Islam believe that one who commits incest must be killed and such a state of Zina should not be dealt with as we deal with Zina in general whereas we differentiate between a married one and a single one.
It is reported in a sound Hadeeth that the Prophet ordered the killing of the one who marries his father's wife and taking his property." [Abu Dawood]
When the Prophet was asked: “Which sin is the greatest?” He said: “To set up rivals for Allah, your Creator.” It is said: ‘Thereafter?’ He answered: “To kill your children for fear of eating with you (i.e. fear of want). It is said: ‘Then, which is next?’ The Prophet said: “To have sex with your neighbor's wife.” [Muslim]
Imagine how it is bad and dangerous to commit Zina with your neighbor's wife! But, it is more dangerous and worse to commit incest; i.e. sex with a mother, daughter, sister…!! We ask Allah to save all Muslims from committing such actions.
Anyway, it is your instant duty to repent sincerely, to regret and to seek Allah's pardon. In addition, you have to multiply your good deeds and avoid despair.
Allah Says (what means): {Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”} [Quran 39:53]
Thus, you have to take the lesson from what has happened between you and your mother so that you can recognize the bad consequences of giving up the Sharee'ah teachings and manners of behavior.
Furthermore, if the inquirer and his mother followed the Sharee'ah orders and directives concerning sleep, what happened could have been avoided.
Here, it becomes clear that Allah's Mercy on human beings is so great since He has laid down such Sharee'ah rulings concerning ordering us to separate children while sleeping; i.e. to cause each one to sleep alone in one's own bed.
We ask Allah to accept the repentance of those who seek it and to forgive those who seek His pardon. He is The Generous and Munificent.
Allah knows best.
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