No jealousy in Paradise
23-8-2017 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have been happily married for 7 years, and I am my husband's only wife. My husband occasionally makes small comments about Al-Hoor Al-Ayn (the maidens of Paradise), which I had no knowledge about until I recently googled what they are. I was shocked and disappointed, because my dream for Paradise was to be with him without co-wives. It made me verry depressed, and I feel lost with so many more questions than answers. Praise be to Allah, I have not given up and kept looking for answers and found most of them. I now have more of an understanding and have excepted Allah's rulings and have rebuilt my faith in Allah. I understand that there will be no jealousy or bad feelings but only happiness in Paradise, but I still fear that I will be only a good-looking woman in the eyes of my husband and that the love that my husband has for me will be at the same level as that of Al-Hoor Al-Ayn, and that all the memories and joy that we have shared together on earth will mean nothing and fade away. I also came across this hadith which I did not understand:
It was narrated from Mu‘aadh ibn Jabal that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “No woman offends her husband in this world but that his wife among Al-Hoor Al-Ayn says, ‘Do not offend him, may Allah kill you, for he is only with you for a short time and will soon leave you and come to us.’” [Narrated by At-Tirmidhi (1174) and classed as Saheeh (authentic) by Al-Albaani in Saheeh At-Tirmidhi]
My questions are: What does the hadith mean? Can I supplicate that my husband will only truly love me and that Al-Hoor Al-Ayn will only be there for his pleasure? Will my husband love Al-Hoor Al-Ayn the same as me, or will he love me more because we have shared the life of this world together? Will his time in Paradise lean more towards me? Will he have to treat all his wives of Paradise equally? Does the husband have a choice in Paradise about which wife can become pregnant and give birth if the husband also has a wife from this world?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
We do not know why you let yourself get carried away with these thoughts that are of no benefit except that they preoccupy your mind and waste your time and distract you from what benefits you of worldly or religious affairs, especially given that you mentioned that you know that there shall be no jealousy or bad feelings in Paradise.
Since Paradise is the abode of eternal bliss, there shall be nothing in it to sadden anyone's life. In general, the matters of the Hereafter should not be judged according to the standards of the life of this world. If you wish to ask us questions, then you should ask about the beneficial matters that lead to doing good deeds.
Ibn Muflih 
wrote, "Chapter: It is disliked to ask about hypothesized matters, things that do not lead to good deeds, and future events that have not taken place yet ... Al-Marwazi reported that Abu ʻAbdullah (Imaam Ahmad) said, 'A man once asked me about Ya'jooj and Ma'jooj (Gog and Magog) and whether they are Muslim or not. I said to him, ‘Have you acquired all the knowledge you need so that you ask about this?’'" [Al-Aadaab Ash-Sharʻiyyah]
You and your husband should be keen on helping each other to obey your Lord so that you would be together in Paradise. There is no harm in asking your husband not to talk about Al-Hoor Al-'Een if it makes you jealous.
The hadeeth of Muʻaath, may Allah be pleased with him, is clear; it warns the wife from harming her husband and clarifies that he shall have other wives from Al-Hoor Al-'Een if he were to enter Paradise. It also says that he is like a guest with her, and when he dies, he will leave her to his wife or wives from Al-Hoor Al-'Een. It should be noted that it was reported that in Paradise, the wife from this world will be more beloved to her husband than his wives from Al-Hoor Al-'Een.
For more benefit, please refer to fatwas 82372 and 144709, which underline that there is no pregnancy and reproduction in Paradise.
Allah knows best.