Her husband does not pray or fast, smokes and disrespects her mother
17-7-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I was born in U.S but married a man from my family in Jordan thinking that marrying in the family would make the marriage more happy. Before I married him he swore to me he would stop smoking and that he would pray. Also, when he came to the U.S he was poor so he lived in my mother's home for 2 years, and my mother even paid for his schooling. During the course of that time my mother's husband died and the relationship between my husband and mother grew sour when he started speaking badly about my mother to other family members. We live on our own now, but I'm very torn as to what to do because my mother is raising small children on her own and depressed, I feel that I am making it worse for her, since I have married a man that has shown such disrespect toward her and stabbed her in the back. I'm still in school and have a baby so I know I'm a far from perfect wife because many nights I don't cook dinner, but I was 17 when we married and he knew I was going to college. My husband has a bad temper and uses the stress in his life as an excuse for smoking, not praying, fasting, and not always being kind to my mother when she visits. I still love my husband, but I don't respect or even like him. I'm still young and I'm educated so I often feel that I'm better off alone to take care of our baby and my mother. I know my problems are many, but I guess the main question is: What is your advice as to what I should do in my situation?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
We have said in a Fatwa regarding a situation similar to yours [Allaah made marriage an institution where both the husband and the wife feel satisfaction and comfort in the company of each other. Allaah Says (which means): {And among His Signs is that He created from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who give thought.}[Quran 30:21].
However, marital life cannot continue as such unless each partner fulfills his/her partner’s rights fully and completely. This life is a shared matter between husband and wife. Allaah Says (which means): {…And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable,}[Quran 2:228].
At-Tabari
interpreted this verse by saying: 'The husbands should fulfill the rights of their wives as prescribed by Allaah as should the wives fulfill their husbands’ rights in the same way.'
Ibn Katheer interpreted this verse by the following: 'This means, women should be given their rights as they should fulfill the rights of their husbands.'] See Fatwa 87208.
For details about the mutual rights of a husband and wife and how to deal with one's spouse read Fatwa 85227.
If a husband does not fulfill his marital duties and does not pray and neglects practicing Islam, then his wife may ask for divorce from him, as we mentioned in our Fataawa 86768 and 83744.
Allaah Knows best.