Let us discuss the factors that help in maintaining ties of kinship and the code of ethics that we should observe with our relatives.

Among these ethics is reflecting upon the consequences of maintaining ties of kinship. Knowing the fruits of something and visualizing its results is one of the greatest motives for performing an act. The same applies to considering the repercussions of severing ties and thinking of the troubles, distress, heartbreak and regret it entails, which helps one to avoid it.

One of the factors that help in maintaining ties of kinship is seeking the help of Allah The Almighty, asking Him for guidance and aid in maintaining the bond of kinship. It is recommended to return the unkind treatment of relatives with kindness as this preserves mutual love and alleviates the effect of the aggressive treatment one may receive from some relatives. That is why aman came to the Prophet, , and said,“I have relatives whom I maintain ties with, but they cut me off, and I treat them kindly, but they deal badly with me. I am gentle with them, but they are harsh to me.”The Messenger of Allah replied: “If you are as you say, it is as if you are feeding them hot ashes; you will have a supporter from Allah against them, as long as you continue to act the way you are.” [Muslim]

Imaam An-Nawawi said, explaining the Hadeeth (narration),

'Hot ashes' is used as a metaphor to demonstrate that such relatives bear as much guilt as the pain and agony experienced by the person who deals with them. As for the one who treats such relatives kindly, there is no argument against him, rather they are the ones who commit a grievous sin by mistreating and harming him. It was also said that it means that you dishonor and degrade them, because of your good treatment in spite of their evil and shameful deeds before themselves as he who eats hot ashes. Others said it means that what they eat from what you give them burns their guts as if it were hot ashes. Allah knows best."

Ramadan: The Month of Maintaining Kinship Ties - I

Ramadan: The Month of Maintaining Kinship Ties -II

Ramadan: The Month of Maintaining Kinship Ties - IV