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Fatwa CenterHer husband wants to divorce her because she sent an e-mail to her ex-husband
Question
Asalam allaikum wa ramatullah wa barakatuh! I need your advice. I am married. I have two children, but not from my husband, but from my ex-husband. I have many problems with my husband, because the children lives with us, my ex-husband cant take them,. but sometimes he come and take them for a visit. Now I promised once my husband, that I will not send my ex any emails. Now it happens that my doktor told me, that I have a attention deficit disorder and I get some drugs. From the kindergarten and the doktor from my oldest sun I heard, that perhaps he also have this disorder. I told that my ex on the phone and told him i would send him information abour the disorder via email. I forgot that i promised my husband not to send emails. I now that it is wrong and really bad, that I broke my promised, but wallahi I forgot it (thats also because of the attention deficit disorder , I forget many things or I just dont think about it and later I am angry of me because of that, I never do something bad with my will). So my husband, i dont know how, found that I wrote this email and now he wants to divorce me. I am really sad, because I did not broke this promis with intent, but I forgot it). And the problem is, that I cant really talk to my ex, but I have to sometimes because of the chuildren. 2 month ago our youngest was in hospital my ex came and my husband also wnated to divorce me, but i did not know he would come an I walked away when he came. I am not allowed from me husband to meet my ex, but now our sun again have to operated and the doktor said he will see us both as parents bevor, but I cant do so because of my husband. Please tell me, what is the islamic point of view? Can I meet my ex in the city, on the busstaiton to give him the children, may I talk to him, can I send him pictures from the children, send him emails (because I dont want to talk so much to him, emails writing is better for me). Tell me please the islmic point of view.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we ask Allaah to make a way out for you from difficulty, facilitate your affairs and reconcile between you and your husband, as He is the All-Hearer and Responsive [He accepts the supplications].
You should know that your husband has the right to prevent you from speaking to your ex-husband or sending him messages and the like, and you are obliged to obey him in this matter because a woman is obliged to obey her husband within what is permissible. The Prophet said: "If I were to order someone to prostrate to other than Allaah, I would have ordered the wives to prostrate to their husbands because of the great right that Allaah made due to them from their wives." [Abu Daawood] However, your husband should accept your apology for breaking your promise to him for not corresponding with your ex-husband especially that you did so unintentionally.
As regards him being determined to divorce you, then this is clearly wrong because you did not do what necessitates divorce. Therefore, it is more appropriate that your husband understands your situation and sees the reality as it is without magnifying it. Furthermore, you should know that your ex-husband has the right to see his children even if they are in your custody. Indeed, the jurists 
agreed that each parent has the right to see his or her children if it is the other partner who has the right of fostering them.
Therefore, you should have a mutual understanding with your husband so that both aforementioned matters will be achieved. So, you may seek the help of some pious and righteous people so that they would reconcile between you and your husband so as this mutual understanding would take place.
We think that the solution is easy because it is possible for the father of the two children to see them in the presence of your husband, and you may send any message to their father through your husband regarding any matter of theirs, among other solutions by which the objective can be achieved without any suspicion or dispute.
Allaah Knows best.
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