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Fatwa CenterSaid to his wife 'I want to give you a divorce'
Question
SSALUM-O-ALUKUM, Dear brother, iam really sorry that i wrote my question in urdu i appologize for that now i write it in english. Me n my wife was angry and on phone i said to her i want to give u a divorce and iam giving u a divorce but before saying these words my intention was to say the words of divorce but before it first i will must observe or see that if her attitude become relax n cooldown or not than i will say the words of divorce n the saying of these words" i am giving u a divorce" my intention for these words was not that these words r to be considred as a divorce or finally these words should be considered as a divorce. My intention was that i will say the words of divorce after a moment after observing her attitude . now my wife insist that the divorce had been done and i accept that i say thaese words but my intention was that these words shoukd not be considered as a divorce. plz guide us in this regad we both r so much upset and disturbed. plz reply as soon as possible that we both become mentally relax. Jazaakumullaahu Khaira. umair khan.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Divorce does not become effective with the present tense; your statement to your wife: ‘I am giving you a divorce’ does not lead to divorce unless you intended to initiate a divorce on the spot as we clarified in Fatwa 92476.
Since you mentioned that you did not intend divorce, then divorce did not take place. Moreover, divorce is in the hands of the husband and it is the words of the husband (concerning divorce) that come in priority over the words of the wife because the husband is more aware of his intention.
Similarly, saying ‘I want to divorce you’ is a promise of divorce and it does not lead to anything. Therefore, your wife is still your wife.
Finally, we advise you to avoid making divorce as a means of solving problems. You should also avoid getting angry, and both you and your wife should be keen on solving your problems wisely and calmly.
Allaah Knows best.
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