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Fatwa CenterShe feels humiliated that her husband reconciled with his first wife
Question
Aslm Alkm.Pls help me .im the 2nd wife of my husband , and he already have a first wife with 3 kids all are grownup. like age 17,
15 and 11.His first wife is not at all a understanding lady past 14 years my husband controlled himself because of 3 kids,they both didnt hav proper sharing of bed also with him, After second marriage there was a very big fight between first wife and husband . she said that
she wont allow us to live a life and even she wont live a life with him.she took her 3 kids and went to mother`s
place which is 1000 km away from where we stay.she said that he must die each second thinking of his kids and he must not live a life she cursed
and went away.my husband was waiting for her return, but only court notice came from her place to my husband
saying that she wont come back to live with him and she want to stay with her mother and to send money
every month, later my husband got upset and decided to keep pardah and took a decision
in front of all family memebers.Suddenly last week he went to see his kids . After coming back he himself said that he took his
first wife and kids for sight seeing and we enjoyed a lot and he says.
i asked him whether h did a bed share with first wife, he said no,
But he promised on quran and on Allah in front of family members and to me.
i started fighting with him. asking why to promise on Quaran and Allah and that is not a joke
Easily he says ok sorry . wat to do now. when his first wife did nafrath and sent a court notice not to live with him,
he is running back of her.and he shouts at me saying that im not allowing to visit the kids,pls suggest me what to do, i cant live without my husbnd, and i cant allow him to share the bed with first wife who did nafrath and sent a court notice. pls suggest me what to do. and he want to celebrate Eid also with them and not with me. im hearted
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
Sharee’ah has made it permissible for a man to marry more than one woman, and made it obligatory upon him to deal justly with them; Allaah The Almighty Say (what means): {then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one.}[Quran 4:3]
Each of the two wives could ask her husband for her right; and it is impermissible for his first wife to protest against his second marriage, nor is it permissible for his second wife to protest against his reconciliation with his first wife, for Allaah The Almighty recommended settlement as shown in His statement (which means): {and settlement is best.}[Quran 4:128]
The fact that his first wife deserted him, prevented him from seeing his children, or even sent a court notice to him, does not prevent settlement of affairs between them; and his return to her does not put you to humiliation or anything like that. Just as it is your right on him that he has sexual intercourse with you, his first wife's right on him is that he has sexual intercourse with her. The scholars of Fiqh 
stated that it is impermissible for a husband to refrain from sexual intercourse with his wife for a period of time that would cause harm to her.
Therefore, we advise you to take it easy, and not disturb yourself by thinking about what happened between your husband and his first wife: on the contrary, you should help him deal justly with both of you, and realize stability in his marital life in order to ensure a normal upbringing for the kids. For further benefit see Fataawa 86783 and 90132.
Allaah Knows best.
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