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Fatwa CenterTried to commit suicide because her husband wanted to marry another wife
Question
I was married 22 years as a Christian to another Christian when I met a Muslim man on the internet.He convinced me that Islam was the correct path to follow and I truly believe this and reverted to Islam.This man then told me that I could not remain married to a Christian and must divorce,so I did seek a divorce from him.Then this Muslim man asked me to marry him and I agreed with him. He and I both made vows to each other to be husband and wife and he sent me marriage contract.Since this happened he has started talking about wanting me to take birth control to not have children and also that in ten years time he wants to take a second wife to have children with.He thinks that my age will cause a hindrance to the child, because his mother died when he was young.I am against both of these issues.He wants our marriage to be secret and in a way I agree with this because of my family is so much against Islam and I know that they will cause many problems.But I feel he wants this marriage secret because in my country polygamy is not allowed and this is the only way that he could have a second marriage.I love him very much and I know that love does not have to be a part of marriage, but still I do not want to be without him.A few weeks ago I found him talking with another woman.This made me jealous and I confronted him on this issue.He told me he was tired of me and wanted a divorce.This upset me so much I actually cut my wrist and wanted to die.I could not bare the thought of not being his wife and still I cannot bare the thought of not being his wife.After this happened he said he lied and wanted me always as his wife.However,I cannot accept him taking a second wife either.I want my own children and I dont want to share him with another woman.After this incident he told me that I am no longer Muslim because I have no faith in Allah. I know Allah is forgiving and merciful, so this cannot be.Please advice me in what to do. I am so confused and hurt.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
What your husband said that you lost your faith because of trying to commit suicide is not true, a Muslim does not go out of the fold of Islam just because of committing suicide. Although committing suicide does not take a person out of the fold of Islam, it is a grave major sin, and there are texts about it being strictly prohibited and there is a severe threat about it in the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of the Prophet ; so please refer to Fatwa 84296.
Therefore, you are obliged to repent from your attempt to commit suicide, and you should avoid doing so in the future.
Moreover, we warn your husband not to declare you again as a non-Muslim without evidence as this is a very serious matter. In fact, there are conditions that must be met in order to declare someone as a non-Muslim, and you may refer to them in Fatwa 87963.
Furthermore, it is not permissible for your husband to prevent you from having children because having children is the right of both spouses; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 87397.
Besides, it is not permissible for him to talk to a non-Mahram woman. However, he is permitted to marry that woman or any other woman if he is able to be just between you and her. Indeed, there is much wisdom in polygyny; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86818.
Therefore, you have no right to object to your husband’s marriage to a second wife, and if he marries, it becomes your right to ask him to be just between you and her. We have already issued Fatwa 90132 about some advice in regard to a woman who is afflicted by having a co-wife, so please refer to it.
As regards your marriage, if a marriage contract is concluded while fulfilling the conditions of a correct marriage, among which are the consent of the guardian and the presence of two witnesses, then it is a valid marriage. Afterwards, it is permissible to hide it [not making it public] because making the marriage public is desirable and not an obligation. For more benefit on the conditions of marriage, please refer to Fatwa 83629.
It should be noted that if one of the conditions of marriage is not fulfilled, like it being conducted without the consent of the guardian or the presence of two witnesses, then it is a void marriage and it must be invalidated.
However, both spouses may renew the marriage contract as it should be conducted according to the Sharee’ah with the consent of the guardian and the presence of two witnesses. In case the wife has no Muslim guardian, then the Muslim judge or whoever may act on his behalf in non-Muslim countries would marry her off. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 88488.
Allaah Knows best.
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